Judge — July 15, 1882 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. A HOME-STRIKE. os Boy small; Big ball. n High hat; Hard bat. 1m From bat comes ball; Higt hat made small. MORAL. When young men Too soon begin To wear a castor “plug,” First look and see, ‘Then tarn and flee, For fear the small boy “slug.” <nixoruy Tarrycos. COLONEL INGERSOLL says he doesn’t believe that seven men could, or did blow down the walls of Jericho, with ram’s horns. The colonel doesn’t appear to grasp the situation by the business end. The theory held by Huxley, Tyndall, the writer and other great entists, satisfactorily explains that biblical event, and shows that instead of being a miracle, it is simply what might take place in any enlightened country to«day. Conceive, if you can, the horrible din made by the seven inen blowing on ram's horns, in front of the walls of Jericho—blowing for all they are worth; making a more frightful, soul-harrow- ing, brain-distracting, nerve-paralyzing noise than a steam fog-horn and a boiler foundry combined! Of course, the tortured and dis- tracted people behind the walls tore down the masonry by piecemeal, and hurled the stones at the fiendish blowers. That's plain enough, though it must be confessed that the Jericho stone-jerkers were miserable marks- men with such missiles, But the wall came down as if by magic, all the same, Barus, in his circus advertisements, places the skeleton of a mastodon alongside of Jumbo, to show how much more diminutive the extinct animal was. The day may not be far distant when some enterprising show- man will place the picture of Jumbo along: side of a circus lie, to show how—— Weil, the mammoth beast would appear like a Jer- y mosquito in comparison, A BrookLyN preacher says that nine-tenths of the inhabitants of heaven will be women. Young Brigson says if there are any ice-cream saloons in that delectable abode—and accord- ing to the theory of the Rev. Mr. Talmage, there will be—the one-tenth composed of the male persuasion will be unable to realize that they are in heaven during a certain season of the year. Why Brigson should make such an observation is an enign ‘The Equitable Life Assurance Society of New York bases the claim that it fs the strongest company In the Dasiness on the ground that the percentage of its Surplus to Liabilities, on the most conservative basis of caleulation—namely, the 4 per cent. standard—is larger than that of any other company. That it ts the most popular company appears to be shown by the fact that it transacts a larger other. The Equitable ts the company which has In- troduced the liberal feature of making {ts policies Incontestable after three years, and paying its claims without discount, or the delay of sixty or ninety days taken advantage of by other companies. Tue favorite seaweed: A cigar on the beach. A QUESTION more easily asked than answer- ed: What is the exact height of the season ? Tne course of true love and a New Jersey railroad never did run smooth. Wuat a vegetarian cannot do: Ss before meat. WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENTS. W, P.—Not extetly the thing. 4, W. S—Yoa nent no address, “Row Roy."—Simply declined. Miss C, I. T.—Will do as you request, S. W. P,—WIl attend to the matter in good tine, A. M.T.—Oh, yes, we had a fine old-fashioned time on the Fourth, and trust you did also, WitL1am B.—Accepted, bat please make your lines shorter, and they will be more apt to fall fn pleasant places, G, K.—Please do not make your artictes s0 long; they will he | worth jast as much, although your last one will not do in any form. WILLIAM THAYER—A bound volume of Tit JeDGE will cost you three dollars and fy cents, But the binding is something to be proud of ©. B.C.—Your story, “The Charmer," charmed our omtice boy wonderfully. He had been kaving up for the Fourth, and | mat MS assisted him In being patriotic. This certainly made ‘him happier than it would have made our readers, and we see no reason why you should not feel contented, Castoria. Stomachs will sour and milk will eantie In spite of doctors and the cradle; ‘Thus It was that oar pet Victoria Made home how! until sweet Castoria Cured her pains;—Then for peaceful slumber, Al sald oor prayers and slept like thunder. A GREAT BUSINESS. ‘Tux basiness of BEATTY'S ORGAN PACTORY, at Washing. | ton, New Jersey, ts ansuming colossal proportions’ Ite ts mak. | ig how about 2.00027 Stop Beethoven Organs each month, ani | the demand is constantly locreasing. A ous tribate. te the untiring energy of this enterprising man-—the foremost eit zen of New Jersey. S FTARDLY EVER™ has there appeared an ad." In any paper better calculated to win the contdence of th public than that of Dr. Scott's Electric Piesh Brush in t sue. No one can run much risk in sending for one of them. 4s the Doctor promises to refund the money If not satisfactory. He is not only trustworthy, bat responsibie. —_————— ee ILES PERMANENTLY ERADICATED IN 1 Weeks, without knife, ligature, of caustic, Send for c lar containing references, DR. HOYT, 26 West 7th st, N.Y $1.000 REWARD 06,2 pertume ike Read's Graxy YUU pecies Couire ft too Hanta; also The Wortd’s Palr, and was proms 0 the world for pongency. strength, and delieacy of odor. It made of Ottar of Ruses and Prench Flowers, ATRIMONIAL GLOBE! ‘The Opleless Paper Prbtided. als A Bkin of Beauty is a Joy Forever. DR. T. FELIX GOURAU s anaevery blemis teauty" cod debe detec tions Te has stooa te tet of thirty years and 00 harmless we taste tto be fare. the "preparation is property, mae, Accept Bo outer of amiar name. "The distinguishes Denis Arsayre- aad to's Iniy0f ine hancion (a por themes pow adie Weil ae Chek Teco nena ovis Cra ae warm of at the Sin preparations. | One pote wil ast six | months. asibg it every : tag. Also Poudre Save removes supertoous balr without injry tothe sun Sine. MKT: GOURACD. Sole Props 48 Bood St. N. Y, Yor tale by ail droggtata and Paey Goods Dealer throughout ine UR Cauadas Ant Europes "also found to. To Chy. at Ten Macy Stern’ Ehrich Ridiey's und other Fancy Ogos Dealer loge heware of tans imitations $1.00 Reward or | trent sna proof or any one weling the ame, PURIFIE we would now ask: HAVE YOU TRIED IT? It is the BEST and QUICKEST CLEANER and POLISHER IN THE WORLD Of NICKEL, SILVER W PLATE GLASS AND(SHOW CASES. BEWARE OF IMITATIONS. - FOR SAL (RY WHERE >~ORGANS* 27 Stors,l0 SetsReeds,$109.75 ‘The Famous Beethoven Organ with a beantifal Pipe Top, Handsome Mark Walnnt Caso enitablo for the Parlor, Church or Sabbath School. ipped on che year'a trial, with Organ Beach, Stool an4 Music, ONLY ** $103.75 *< Remit by Bank Draft, Post Othe Order or Regis. tered Latter, Money refunded with taterrst If ‘presented after one year'e use, Orvana Bailtion the old plan. $10, $40, $50.8 to 11 sto Se Catalogue PREE.. Adress of call yon DANIEL F. BEATTY, Wasbisgton, New Jersey Bound copies First Volume of THE JUDGE, price cloth, $3.50. For sate at the Publication Omice, 4 and 36 North Moore street, New York. comicbooks.com