Judge — July 8, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. ZZ = discount for S nday-schools and chibs 's too expensive, I can't afford i THE SECRET OF HIS SUCCESS. He was a man of modest mieg, Yet when heared his brawpy arm The ponderga” muscle that ws seen Would cause a pagilist alarmg>s, % And whgo he triumphed in each feat Upon the exhibition grounds, Over many a sinewy at ‘Their admiration knew no bounds. They humbly placed a laurel crown Upon the blashing conqueror's head, And then, before him kneeling down, The spokesman of the vanquished said: “We've practiced many a weary day In hopes that luck onr lots would bless; And yet you wrest the prize away— Tell us the secret of success.” ‘The victor slowly shook his head. “One explanation I can makes In fien of clats and bils,” be said, “Tearve my good landlady's steak!” NALCOLM DovGLAs. Wuenever a police captain in this city finds that through his short-sightedness some mur- derer or other criminal has escaped, he in- stracts his chief of staff to order the citizens of his precinet to present.him witha gold badgéfor his ‘efficiency and courtesy.” In this way the captain hopes to satisfy the rest of the inhabitants of the city that it is not yet time to dismiss him from the department. A TELEGRAPHIC dispatch from Alexandria informs us that the Khedive has written to Ragkeb Pasha, President of the Council, 1 capitulating the recent eventsin Egypt, which the Khedive describes as deplorable, Now | let the Khedive employ Colonel George Bliss as his counsel, and his misery will be com- plete. Tue sickening intelligence has reached us from Washington that Congress intends to keep in session until August 1. Would it not be a good idea to send Captain Williams, of this city, to disperse the gathering at once? ‘Tuat arrant old humbug, General W. Rosecrans, has been renominated for Ce gress from the Third District of California. It has been General Rosecrans’ aim in life for many years to disparage the military career of General Garfield, and since the murder of the President he has occupied the greater por- tion of his time in attempting to remove the good impression which James A, Garfield, az a soldier and a statesman, made among the people everywhere. Do the Democratic vot- ers of the Third District of California consider that this man’ Rosecrans, who has not only ‘brought disgrace upon them by his persistent and infamous attacks upon the memory of Garfield, but whose Congressional record has nothing in it to recommend his re-election, is deserving of their support in any direction? | letter? Now let me depart in peace,” is popularly ascribed to several of the Old Testament pa- triarchs. These were in fact the last words of the untutored inhabitant of New Jersey, who was amusing himself last week by driving shingle nails in a nitroglycerine can. It may interest the reader to leara that this touching request was gratified in the most abundant manner, though in the plural sense. haven't found the last piece of him yet. ‘They Why is the Wells comet like the Morey Because it still clings to the Sun, ‘Tne Fourth, the Fourth, the glo With picni When guns ‘ious Fourth! , Speeches, and so forth, nd orators roar forth, And our spread eagles soar forth, ‘Tury ought to have saved the rascal for the Fourth of July. Society and Fashion Notes. DELAMATER FINN the Whisky Spring Low-necked trains are annexed to all fash- ionable street dres The Ten Eyck O'Houlihans will sojourn in the alley and area-way during the warm spell. Waists ‘‘en train” towards the neck are very much worn. ‘The De Flutl Smiths contemplate a trip to the free baths at the Battery Pannier sleeves are en regle for fat women only. The Von Moriartys will be registered in due time at Far Rockaway. Forty-two inch thick red flannel suitings will be much worn during the ‘hot wave’ by both a, Mees Bridget Levy Isaacs will not visit Coney Island or board at the Oriental Hotel thereat. She pre toga for this sea son, under Hilton's espionage. Ladi ill wear their hair all braided diag- onally over the left Herr Porkandcabbage O'Rourke, the mous Italian artist and modern ‘Titian, is en ged ona beautiful Autumn scene entitled: john Kelly's Grand Bounce from Poli- tics.” ‘The picture is already bought, and paid for in advance in 1876 by Sammy Til- den, Little Shonny, son of the distinguished lager drinker, Adolphus Saurkraut, is daily developing his t sculpture by building mud designs in street gutters, Honora MacFagin wrought on a square remnant of thecanvas bag her mother brought the potatoes home from the market in a love- ly shaded wool transcript of her father’s name, ‘ Moike.” The Browns will shortly secrete themselves for a fortnight in the rear of their d ing, while the ‘spapers announce their presence at some fashionable summer resort. The Beaudrais and the Parlezvous are going to Canadhaw and Monthray: Van Vechten Maginnis and bi Europe nee Tipperary. ‘, alderman, will go to ide are in comicbooks.com