Judge — July 1, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AF EW TYPICAL READERS OF METROPOLITAN YOUNG AMERICA. Yt ndpop, Lam s: For the Fourth will soon And it’s very much ti Since it comes but How much will fourteen 1 Tam bound to make a noise, And a joyful eclebration, Along with the other boys, Christmas, year, 3 buy? M1 them all t About Freedom's raw ‘That you tokl me—how Wa: el Kin out of his boots. They'd nev same tale Sam Jobnson has got a cu, Lif we can get some powsler Well ome glorious fun We'll ap snoots at Johnny Bull, will fire th And, grandpop, won't And help whoop for W M no, my hoy; I've done my share Of whoc day. P've burned three baitdings firing ‘eracks,’ And blown three fingers away, This blinded eye and powdered face My beauty does not e And go grandpop will s you youngsters GEORGE G, SMALL. Too Much Boy. A SHIFTLESS couple, notorious for their lax ity in religious matters, were suddenly sur. prised one morning by a call from a contiguous church parson, around on a converting tour, and the male sinrer, striving to divert the man of Faith's attention from himself, took his precocious four-year-old son up on his pai knee, and began interrogating him thus : “Sonny, now hold yer head up, an’ tell us how old yer be ?” Sonny (with alacrity).—I bees four, dow- in’ on five, sur.” Gratified Father (patting his heir approv- ingly on the shoulder).—Good boy | Now tell the parson how old yer ma be. | Boy hesitates, and the father prompts him | thus : “ Goin’ on—goin’ on——" Aieful Boy (quickly).—Goin’ on ter Smit’s arter de beer in a minnit. Ain't yt (nodding interrogatively at the pantr | behind which his mother in great embarrass ment had hastily retreated). Horvified Father.—Oh, sonny, Wain't yer amed to talk so—right afore the parson, too? (Coaxingliz) Now, like a nice, good tell the parson how old I, yer daddy,be. Boy (hesitatingly).—Turty-t'ree. Ilis father prompts him thus : ma? door, Boy (after hurriedly wiping his nose across | dis y -sleeve).—Goin' on a bust wid er coon (punches the parson his stomachic regions), if ma gives up der stamps tuye. in [Exit demoralized parson in haste, amidst the agonizing shricks of the small boy, the plaqueshaped part of whose tattered little trousers were being sorely impressed by his parent's han ADE De their r DELANEY say zt side compose poetry.” Ifthis theo- that Walt Whit- nt side. | man never N woman kept silent for fifteen , to spite her husband. It was a cruel joke to play upon her spouse, but he doesn’t deserve much sympathy. He might have broken her site! erted her into a twenty minutes’ se: convention, A Wise years, woman's rights yy simply letting her urprise him in the act of kissing the servant- girl in the dining-room. It may be barely possible, howe’ ut he preferred quiet in the house. Some married men do, we've been told. Prov. Norpexsksoin, during his Arctic voyages, was perplexed by the question: | “What becomes of the bod which die a natural d had prosecuted his search a re discovered a bologna sausage in full blast. es of animals Perhaps if he A PUBLISHE! Faithful Lov the faithful lov quently than th r is not in pr e girl he lov ns who sleep on | little further | PAPERS, Ile cd into bits, by a misc Adam, and thir one hundred and thirty. years. found the family Bible in whieh was recorded, it will be difficult to the returns, and we can no longer Adam using hairalye for the first time in his seven hundredth year; nor imagi when a few d after his nine hundredth birthday he discovered that the life insurance company in which he held a $10,000 policy, and on which, during the past ci uries he had paid $150,000 And if he was only one hundred 's old he couldn'thave lied winter of 420 B.C. s ruthlessly bust t, who hundred rs old when he died, was only If he has Jam's ub instead of being nine iconoc ys o behind think of chagrin nd thirty yer about th A porr sadly si and softer words we sa bat my heart is de isd can't Y fixed. “*Soft music sounds, ; I would be joyful, When a man's heart joyful, no how it can be It is worse tha and the toothache combined, and until the ad, he ase of love defunet organ is removed, and a live, bus to-the-minute-b can’t be cheerf ne nty-be: cd in its ph might as well believe the poet lic 8 insert- We at we When a man’s heart is dead, he doesn’t write alleged poetry. Ie sleeps ‘neath the daij and the gentle zephyrs chant a mournful requiem o'er his si- lent grave. » en passant, th old | Wuen the wall in London, which had been exposed to the wear and t of the clements for ye ‘ecently removed, the mort tough and strong that the work: tually cut out the s if in the original qua If New of her should employ the contra man wall to construct buildings. It may be, however, that he deceased. Come to think about it, he ¢ before the war, and hi | died with him, more than a thousand men had te they had bee | York city wishes to lessen the numbe catastrophes, st or of the old Tih money a man saves by shaving hit «to spend for local newsp: ifhe wants to keep posted on th wh, he is ob] | of comicbooks.com