Judge — July 1, 1882 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

E JUDGE. BN aes Well, Mrs. MeBridgitt, an’ how does yer git along wid yer new neighbors “Och, virry well, ovnly they doan't seem to be a bit frindly at al, at alt | The Invasion of the Deacon's Tea- Party. DeacoN STRUTHERS was a very pious man. Piety might be said to exhibit itselfin a chronic form in the person of Deacon Struthers. He had a pious walk, a pious voice, a pious ay of blowing his nose, very different from the flippant “a-chew” of ordin mortals and he even watloped his boys in a an sacerdotal manner; in short, he urated with the spirit of grace wh to make puddles like the drippin wet umbrella when he stood for a moment in | one spot. Now there is a sort of man to whom extreme piety is offensive, and, unfortunately for the ad a person of that sort for au hbor. neighbor I refer to was an individual by the name of Billings, whose occupation at various periods of his life police reporter and = sporting editor had brought him in contact with an assorted lot of society quite out of the ordinarily respect- able average of our population, He knew betting men, fighting men, detective: queer actors, and his acquaintances of an out- of the-way sort were not all of his own sex One summer Sunday morning, after a ‘jolly old night with the boys,” as Billings sat in a state of bilious irritability surrounded by empty bottles, dirty gla halfsmoked pipes, cigar stumps and other unsavory sou- venirs of the happy hours gone by, his mor- | caged wild be and | They’ bid 2 nerves were jarred by the voice of the deacon, which floated up from the opposite pavement, raised in admonition or reproof. Billings er: obj anding with a large hymn-book under his arm, his hand and his eyes rolled heavenwards, addre ared-nosed beggar who had evidently been asking for “ tincints to get to Harlem,” sens wled to the window, and s of his ave w the ul the deacon in his most and now Tain old, jteous forsaken nd Struthe - pode with an air of the thirsty wan- pid bewilderment, from | “Go thy pious ton but never or their seed begging br cended the steps of his conscious rectitude, derer in which he asantly aroused by the chink stones at his feet. As for our Bohemian friend, he was strid- ing up and down the floor of his room like , evidently revolving some he stopped short, scheme in his his countenan: great conception. avoice of exultation, “ that will fix him,” and rummaging among the bottles found one good, sti corker of Bourbon still r he swallowed ata gulp, and 1 spasmodically into his coat, rushed down: and out of the house h the air of aman bent on important business. aining, which ving climbed | * . * . . * At the house of I on Struthers all was Lin a liein' nizt door for nearly a month, an: they haven't called on me wnust!” ina state of superlati ways were neat at the deacon’s, but now the glass had an extra shine, the door-knobs were more dazzling than usual, and the white paint was snowier than ev Jn the dini arty of friend embled to and disc neatness; things al- ake toa 33 churel the choir, the new mbers, the new organ, and the old debt. ere was the with a elean- left rowing on his neck in the sty! orang-outang, to which gentle creature the rong. general fe, a very bilious thin little mouth hac perpetual droopat the corners; and Mr. Smith- , the great flour merchant, with a hawk and an cagle-eye (only one), the other pd out by an ex- © some time before, thing, with the tender g specimen, and a genius ing evil thi bout her neig’ and Mr, and Mrs, Griper, whose united five hundred be pounds of corpor were clothed in all the regal magnificence befitting their lofty station s proprietors of a shirt-store, where work is given out at forty cents a dozen to over-fod, plethorie women, with a passion for old la and diamonds, Mr. Buckley, who completad the select gath of hol pous man with a double chin and thin, greasy looking hair, who had atm: ble fortune in the butter trade by a strict adher- rin, pom- asy+ nd a comfi comicbooks.com