Judge — June 17, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TIP ME SOFTLY. nt ear; ¢ worked ont here Is it square or queer? Measures like wh Down with your du Tis t pit speak without only way Tip me sott Paragraphie Diversions. | Ir is said that in some Indian tribes a brave is not allowed to marry until he has presented his prospective mother-indaw with a fifty-dol- | lar gun, Such a law suddenly sprung upon the marrying young men of America would | almost paralyze the wedlock industry and cause a frightful incre nthe ranks of old | s men, after buying nd incurring afew other | have enough money lollar young men, of course, v muskets for seventy-tive cents apiece, and en- deavor to convince their prospective mothers- in-law that they were the latest: summer style in fire-arms, and cost five hundred dollars a dozen wholesale; but the dange such fabrications would be immen: the deceived mother-in-law dete maids. Very few you Ucir wedding suits n expense: to invest in a fifty un. Some wi uld buy up old army tending When 1 the impo: sition, the subsequent proceedings would be so violent and demonstrative that the business | of the wig er would be augmented fifty per cent.; and it would be mighty fortuna for the son-indaw that his present was minus a lock and trigger. Dr. Dio Lewis Perhaps they \ complain of feeling unwell. When a fourtee year-old boy starts out on a frosty morning to | gather chestnuts, and strikes a turnip patch about four o'clock in the afternoon, afer ing eight hours, he appropriates an esculent the size of a pie-plate, mounts the rail fence by the road-side, and devours the vegetable as if it were a feast fit for the immortal gods. | And it is not unhealthy—unless the owner of the patch recognizes him in the predatory act. $ turnips are healthy. ©. ¢ never heard a turnip | “Woman among tof burden; in Asia she is a of furniture, in Europe she is a spoiled | nid Joughnes, who has a fashionable nd four grown-up daughters, feelingly adds that “in America she is dashed expen- sive.” A RECIPE in a houschold journal is headed | ** How to Cure a When.” Whya When should be cured any more than a Why, or a Which, ora Wherefore is not apparent. Something appears to be wanted to cure a ‘bad spell.” THE JUDGE. NNN PY © The OM Meus” at the indore of the Union Cub enjoying their afteruoon cackle A MAN employed to defac , ete.. with the legen Dead Shot for Rheuma "found a leaning against a barn near a country town, and painted the inscription on the roof of the building. When a spectator told him that he thought it was a crazy idea—that it would never be read—the defacer of nature replicd, “Perhaps not now, but a hundred years hence nearly everybody will travel by balloons, and then that sign’s going to be the most promi- wt in the neighborhood.” ‘TI id he hadn't thought of that. rks, fences, se Brown's Tur boy who was ‘first to go in swim- min’” this spring, contrary to his mother’s orders, had a very pretty little poem inserted under his death notice in the paper, saying what a dutiful little cherub he was in thislife, and now he’s singing with the angel band, and so forth. spectator | THE woman's committee of a offers a premium of ten dollars f pair of patched pants."" There’ who can carry off that prize with iring a solitary perspire. He wears pants we ever saw to the square foot, A Ciicaco paper, of whites hy hostile blame?” Iverting to the killing “Who's to amucl J. ‘Tilden or enator Conkling. Senator Cameron may be to blame to some extent—he’s blamed for almost. everything nowadays—but we have read the reports of these outrages, and have reached the natural conclusion that the Indians who killed the whi ure to blame, comicbooks.com