Judge — June 10, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE LOVER'S PLAINT. 1 turned Wwenty-two, hair; cout I was but nineteen—but, then, w Loved her, loved to despair, We vi I was IL the best th in town— just like a brother,” you know. Fruit glaoés and bonbons did oft our bliss crown, Rich present 1 oft did bestow. m. My father allowed me ten dollars a woek, But with all theao expen: T knew oft not where for aq Ld Just have spent twice lore rter to seek as much more, iv her oft in the beautiful spring, And rode with her many a mile T walked with her, danced with her, list And life was a beautifal smile. I drove wi 0 her sing, T dream For our happine: Tut rght in the midst of That girl hopes without fears - arriel an older man AJPAN rivKene Agricultural Note. Now is the time for the re: turalist to be up its ea in som tic agricul- Idoing. ‘The corn opens s to the voice of Nature, and the places put ona rye face. The flowers begin to get seedy, and the martin leaves the first cold day. Our princi: ists are the sky, the woods, and other members of the feathered community. buds on the turnip tree are indicative of a prolific crop, and the pumpkin bushes bend beneath the weight of their resplendent berries. Judging from its swelling pods, the cugumber climber will reach an unusually lofty height. [For further particulars see “What I Don't Know About Farming,” by the late Dr. Greele: rly Ir is said that “Mr, Darwin has left an autobiography behind him.” According to the eternal fitness of things, he shout! have left a tale behind him, Wues a Rear Admiral is placed of the list, he is no longer a “ —is he? the he r” Adu Sa1.00n keepers in Washington are opposed to all-night sessions of Congress. We can't, for the life of us, imagine why. Mr. VANDERBILT'S new mansion contains 2,000 ‘burners, When Mr, V. locks up hi house and goes to Europe for three months, he'll be the maddest man in town when he re- turns, and finds that his meters have been registering right along during his and he owes the gas compan: last. quarter, quently occur, absence, $20,000 for the Such inexplicable things fre- Whey a father chastises his unruly son with a stout switch, he thinks he has done a smart thing. (P. S.—The boy, as he rubs the sore place, thinks so, too.) Lam conrinced that it is awl Cut hee aukles | Ir is becoming the fi | patent medicin invented by woman with her portr It is shion to advertise rv “discovered” it surmounting the We don't ‘ores of old women who can snatch a patient from the j ath, with their rbs" and poul- t an expense of ten cents, before the ge physicia pantaloon gender the pulse, examine the tongue, look wise, and write out a pres dollar and a females thus bu in the their medicin all right. ription costing a half; but the portraits of the far given don’t show enough forehead to induce us to take “JTow to make a ten-cent meal for a family of two,” is the title of an article in a house- hold journal. ‘That's easy enough. A young man in this town has got domestic economy down to a still finer point, He persuades his wife to visit her parents, and then he goes | down and takes dinner with his mother-in-law, “Danny” Ace, colored, died recently at Barley Mills, Fla,, aged 120 years, He cuchered death for many years, but he was turned down with a spade at last. Although laid “low,” let us hope Ace is “high” now. A PorT warbles: not grow. “The vines I planted did + + + I fear their roots are dead— their roots are sere; and yet they may bloom forth another year.” It is extremely doubt- ful, O poet. We planted vines once that didn’t grow, cither; but we hoped they would turn over a new leaf, and bloom another year, Vainhope. A next-door neighbor said a worm had gnawed at their vitals, Instead of rush- ing into a poctical complaint about our ill- | luck with the vines, we dug ‘em up and plant- ed others, and, by keeping worms from the roots, they thrived wonderfully, It is the best way. a lady to ride a tye 1 be Seana cle we.thout expanse Tue Pennsylvania R. R. Co. have ordere that man-holes be in the roofs of all thei ‘nger cars, to atlord the inmates another 3 of escape in case of an accident—and idents have been known to occur on rail- This is an excellent idea; but old esby thinks it is a base exhibition of favoritism. ys there are almost as many women as men t I, and she can't see why the company don't recognize the rights of her sex by also cutting woman-holes in the roofs of thei We don’t suppose the company ever thought of that. » Livermore asks: ‘ What artist would a corseted female for a model?” When it comes to selecting models, an artist is ex- tremely cular, and perhaps he wouldn't select a corseted female; but in choosing a wife he is not so fastidious, and the corset is not an objection. She A New weekly months ago, and a couple of weeks afterwards | the editor received a note from a granger, stating that if he didn’t print an agricultural column he might discontinue sending him his paper. ‘The editor knew a farmer never read the agricultural column in a little coun- try paper, so he put the head “ Agricultural Department” over a lot of jokes and fashion notes, and the next week the complaining old granger sent him a letter of thanks and two new subscribers. A patest medicine manufacturer has re- ceived the following testimonial: ‘ Dear Si Your pills are the best I have ever seen. My wife's mother is growing worse. Send me four more boxes.”” A YOUNG man “Courting by the elee- tric light is ‘shocking.’” We should think it would be—to those who witnessed it. comicbooks.com