Judge — May 27, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COPPERED. 4 Masher's Lament, I wer a damsel from the port Upon a starry night; She looked as if intent on sport, Her eyes were big and bright. She was so very witching that I coulda't help but stop her, sir; So sweet a lass'T could not pass, Although I'd not a copper, gir. “ Fuir maid,” [ cried, in dulcet tones, “My bright and guiding etar, T'll leave dry wisdom’s musty Bokns, And fly with thee afar!” “Ob, softly sometimes sir!” she said; “Indeed, “twould not be proper, sir. Besides, I fear, to pay the beer You haven't got the copper, sir!” “Ob, leave me not for want of ‘bar'ls',”” cried, in wild despair— “Thave unbounded tick at Carl's, A sumptuous room in Thayer; T've lots of ‘stock in ‘Daisy Mine’.” Said she, ** You tell a whopper, sir; For, truth to speak, you sail on cheek— You haven't got thé copper, sir!” She fled; and, with her, hope took flight Upou the evening blast. I saw tho sweetest conquest might Turn out sour mask at last. The lesson was a useful one, And since I had to drop her, sir; I'm not so brash to make a m: Without the needfal copper, si oss Les, A New Enterprise. Every now and then the world is startled by some great project or invention, but this time the publicis startled byfthe World, which comes to the front with something decidedly novel. For ten dollars a night it offers to furnish guests for weddings, parties, funerals, etc., ladies and gentlemen of the highest so- cial standing, fashionably dressed, and pos- sessed of ordinary good looks. Now, this is what we call enterprise. It will certainly supply a long felt want. ‘The great difficulty has always been to get company enough to affairs successful in} the eyes shionable world and the’ columns Now, the thing can be done up in shape if a person only has the money, and it need not take’ more than five hundred dollars expended in this way to get up quite a respectable crush. And to make such hired guests still more valuable, we sup- pose they will assume distinguished “names, and perhaps titles, At Mrs. Jonés‘.party;, they will appear with one set of names and at} Miss Smith's with another set, and by gettlog. them nearly of a size, the manager of ‘this’ novel bureau can make them still more at- tractive by judiciously changing their cloth- ing on different occasions. Indeed, the more we :think of this brand new enterprise, the more beautiful does it seem to be; the greater number of-possibilities appear, to say nothing of the honest: entployment and good feeding it will furnish’ these swallow-tailed darlings. And we suppose tlie World will send its so- ciety reporters along to write up the recep- tions, wakes, weddings, parties, etc. A GONE goose: Oscar Wilde. Se ANAS Lovina Wire.—Ah, George, didn't I tell you I could sic your coat 80 that it would be as good as new, and Oh it you wouldn't knove it? ative Hespaxp,— Yes, my dear, and you hare kept your word. Wuat has become of that bold, bad man, Colonel George Bliss, of New York? Did not Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll, in a Washington court-room recently, publicly call Colonel Bliss a liar? Is it true that the latter has been in consultation for some days with O'Donovan Rossa regarding the dynamite market ? TALMAGE, the Brooklyn crank, has under- taken to defend the Irish. What did the Irish ever do to him that he should treat them thus? Comstissiover Hubert O. THOMPSON and Senator Thomas F. Grady have taken a cot- tage together at Fire Island for the summer. Wuat will Pennsylvania do without a Cam- eron? Thut’s what that grand old Common- wealth evidently proposes to learn, judging Srom the political vids now blowing. °5" ~ AN Ohio man bas at last been found who declined an offieé, and who is it but Bob ‘Schenck! We pass, THE cowboys’ out in Arizona have been holding indignation meetings because Presi- dent Arthur*had the temerity to threaten to break .ap their business. They denounce him evory#liere asa tyrant, and threaten to march on Washington’ and bust up the bloody old Govérnmént if he don't withdraw his procla- mation. Or course this is a land of liberty and all that sort of a thing, but aren’t the Brewsters rather crowding the mourners with their dis- play of carriages on Fifth avenue? skite, is m self even a greater nui- sance than usual since the late Dublin assas- sination, and respectable Irishmen are saying ifhe is not shut up by the authorities, that they will go back to Ireland again, for with all the trouble there, they feel that it cannot. be worse than to live in the same country and have people know that he is a countryman of theirs: A DRINK that doesn’t ‘‘count:” Buttermilk. Wu is “Buck” Grant? And why “ Buck?” THEY have been warming a Jew over in Jersey just because he said disrespectful things of the Christian religion. But they go in heavy on the Jewish religion all the same. But then that don’t count, you know. Cotton may be king, but gun-cotton isn't an heir to the throne, apparently. comicbooks.com