Judge — May 13, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE WAY OF THE WORLD. I wit tell you of a man, IT can, And the lashing, rushing Race he ran: Of “the Gang” he was one, And scooped his share of fun On the span, He had money and good clothes Every day; He “set ‘em up” for the boys, And was gay; But he reached his bottom dime, Then his friends began to climb— The old way. And the landlords caught the graft Right away, And his fine friends took the tip That same day. And when he tried to borrow Ue found out to his sorrow *Twouldn’t pay. To those whom he'd befriended He applied; But he found every pocket At ebb-tide; And from each he got a frown— “Kick the sucker, he is down!” They all cried. Monat: Doit in the Phitadelphia style, and keep a balance in thy purse. Oa. 8 Launchings. Every now and then we sce elaborate and highly colored reports of the launching of some- body's yacht—either steam or sail—and it is quite enough to make a poor man sick with envy, for poor men are supposed to enjoy the delights of yachting quite as well as rich men do, but the luxury is generally denied them on account of its expensiveness, But every picture—even the most expet sive—has its other side. If poor people can- not indulge in first-class yachts, they can catch on to something quite as pleasurable, and perhaps more so, If rich men and women have grand and expensive times at the launch- ing of a yacht, poor people can have quite as much pleasure at the send-off of something more humble, Mr. Worth gives us a graphic picture of a recent Long Island launching, whereat the oyster boat Numonia was sent from her inclining ways into her native element one day last week. True, the company attending the nautical event was not quite so grand as some of those we read about, The boat is owned by one of Long Island’s most cherished colored sons—a man who has amassed several hundred dollars in the oyster clutching husiness—and of course his friends were in attendance upon the occa- sion. There was no highfalutin business, but there was fun init. There was no bottle of champagne broken on the bow to accompany the christening as the “ oysterer” glided down the oleomargarined ways, but a beau- tiful colored young lady ‘‘chucked” a jug of apple jack at her at the moment of sliding, and that of course preserved the unities and kept up the “tone.” Tne JupGE wagers a piece of calico against a piece of chalk that there was more genuine PUZZLED AS TO CHOICE. fun and more enjoyment at this launching than there was at the aristocratic one at Greenpoint the other day, And herein is the point. Poor people make a great mistake in growling at the seemingly better fate of their acquaintances, when in reality they have just as many and better avenues of amusement than have the sons of wealth, Look at the picture. It may not depict first-class scenes, but it shows what fun there is on the other side of it; and all of this gocs to show that the cream of enjoyment is not wholly with those who possess millions, for it is extremely doubtful if those high-toned launchings which we read of so often can compare, after all, with the booming given to the Numonia. Long may she float! Long may she nip the crustaceous bivalve! Money may she make for the humble grappler who so nobly illus- trates the otier side of this aristocratic pic- ture. QUESTIONS OF THE PERIOD. Tue Eastern Question: the sun rise?” The Russian Question: bombs about you?” “What -time docs “Tlave you any The German Question: “Will you give us zwei lager and a pretzel?” The Italian Question: ‘Who wants any more paupers?” The French Question: ‘Is Sarah Bernhardt really married?” ‘The Spanish Question: “When is the next lottery to be drawn?” The Irish Question: ‘‘ Shall we take a drop of the crathur?” The Church Question: ‘ Which is the great- er misfortune—Ingersoll or Talmage?” Tae Senatorial Jumbo: David Davis. “Oh, why wasn't I born rich instead of having so much good looks 2” Nor content with blowing up his Andre monument, some fellow, and perhaps the same one, has lately tried to blow up Cyrus W. Field. The explosion was premature, but, after all, perhaps it was concocted by some- body who feared that he might erect a monu- ment to Jesse James if he lived long enough. “Far from the Madding Crowd” at the Union Square kept the gladdening crowd away from the box-office. The manager said it was a bad play, and they couldn’t Palmer off on him for a longer time than a week. SHE was such a gushing creature, and so unused to metaphor in giving vent to her thoughts and feelings. She and Charlie were engaged, and had settled right down to mak- ing aserious business ofcourting. One night, when the gas was burning low, one of the servants overheard her exclain—“ Oh, Char- lie, I wonder if your mustache feels as nice to you as it does to me!” Fritz Emmet has bought a seven-foot dog, for which he paid twenty-five hundred dollars, itis said. Hope he isn’t a canine Jumbo. But, seriously speaking, wonder which is the largest, the dog or the story? Ir the Missourians are so utterly discon- tented at the loss of Jesse James, they might, as a slight alleviation of sorrow, advertise for an early cyclone. A Cuicaco man has been arrested for steal- ing a dictionary. He should be honorably discharged. A Chicagoan with respect enough for the dictionary to steal a copy, even, is emphatically worthy of encouragement, not prosecution. It wouldy’t be a bad thing for the bulk of population in that city to pattern after the dictionary thiefs example—if, by so doing, their knowledge of the Englieh lan- guage might he enlarged the while. comicbooks.com