Judge — May 13, 1882 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. 13 Diver at a Bowery restaurant: Here, wait- er! here's a caterpillar in my plate of soup. Impassible waiter: Yes, sir; about the time of year for ‘em, just now, sir. GRAMMATICAL query: What is the singular of Portuguese? Why, cert’nly; Portugoose, of course. Parnter Case has done a Peter Cooper and sent it over to the Paris Salon. If the Paris Salon doesn’t know a pretty thing when it has an opportunity of seeing it—so much the worse for theSalon, PLAINT OF SPRING, Ou, why am It Though wild be the question, I ask it, For my mission seems but to fill up the waste-basket. Now, in editors’ sanctums, with rhymes by the score, Thereby causing said martyrs to wish ‘Spring ” was no more, ALARMING newspaper statement: “ An old gentleman on Broadway was thrown from his buggy through a frightened horse.” It is not apparent which suffered the most serious’ in- jury—the old gentleman or the horse. “Ou, when awoman wills she will, you may depend upon it” If this you don’t believe, ask Jones about his wife's spring bonnet. —A. BIsMARCK ought to be happy, and rest on his laurels now: he has squelched a comic pa- per in Germany. ‘WILL you take some nose paint?” is the way they ask a fellow to drink in some parts of New Jersey. ‘THe party who complains of the time being out of joint had better have his clock fixed. DO NOT THINK that Sapolio ts a FANCY ARTICLE becanse it is pat up in an attractive style. It will do more Work and will do it better than Three Cakes of any MINERAL OR SCOURING Soap ever made. gM MORGAN ee S4_ BETTER and CHEAPER than SOAP HOUSE CLEANING PURPOSES. IT WILL CLEAN Trinh, Marti, 4 oll N,Cigthe, Bat Bath Tubs, Crockery, TT WILL POLISH Copper and Steel Wares a all kinds or Rotten Stone—ASK FOR IT— as a substitute for It—it is the Best Scouring S Ss Say, TRY HAND SAPOLIO for an ereryaay Tollet and Bath Somp. It has no eq Grocers and Druggists Sell Our Goods. A LETTER mailed in 1853 was recently found behind a shelf in a country post-office, and for- warded to its destination. It was addressed toa young lady, and contained a marriage proposal. When the lady read it, she look- ed pleased, and exclaimed: ‘Law me! I didn’t expect to hear from John so soon. But what a wonderful thing is the fast mail service!” A Porter that won't go off satisfied: Fitz- John. END vaine and address to Cragin & Co., Pildelptla, Pa, Ser cook book, hee as $1.000 REWARD for a fume lke Read's Grab Decuess Covooxe. GOODS IN OUR FULLY JAPA’ ILS. PATE! LAVA COSPADORES. WIT WORTH 200, MAloLic CUSPADORES. 5c. U i 2 GOLD FRAMES, ONLY $2.0, (AND COMPLETE ASSORTMENT LACE CURTAIN 1 ISe., 20¢., 25¢., 90¢., 35¢., 40c., 60¢ , G0e., UP. LACE PILLOW SHAMS. \T Bic, $0c., 45. S0c., €Sc., 75c., 9c. UP THE PAIR. LACE LAMBREQUINS, 42c., S80., 65¢., TSe., $1 UI COTTAGE SWISS, 9¢., 10c., 120., 15¢., 29., 23¢., 25, YARD. DOTTED SWISS. 5c 3c PEW YARD. SATIN-STRIPED PIQUES, 7e., 8., 9¢., 10¢., 15c., ane S36. 8. Jane UNBLEACHED TABLE, ITE TABLE DAM. 80c., 890., BSc, Thee, Se. od LEACHED DaMask SAPRISA bles Gic. 0, BSc. bie. ze 'Y-RED DAMASK, @Se., 15c., 8Sc.. 90c., $1 per yard, BROIDERED TABLE COVERS, $2, $2.25, $275, #3 up. Sam Warp gracefully alludes to himself as a “Parliamentary Agent.” Bravo for Sam! In less classic phraseology, people of similar occupation are commonly denominated ‘* Lob- hyists,” though in Pennsylvania, we believe, they are alluded to as ‘‘ Roosters,” 'TALMAGE says ‘re and such religion as his would be dear at the price of a song. HoLman. PapCo--centlemen: | guatered with a chronic case Dyspepsia Complaint with enlargement af the Spices treated d by eight diferent physicians, bat did mpttinproce, No two of thers pon what my trouble really Wak One pronounced it a case of consumption. 1 was induced by a friend to try a Holman Pad. I did so, and used two of them.” am entirely tells never Jett better in my es can do a good day's work, ent tell, sleep well, and always {n good spirits. Respectfully yours, CHARLES L. GIBSO: E. RIDLEY & SONS, Grand, Allen, and Orchard Streets, N. Y. TO HOUSE FE EEPERS. NEW BASEMENT. ERS, BEST MAKF, $359; RED BOSOM BOARDS, WITH ATTACHMENTS, 12¢.; IPE BOXES, 8 CENTS UP. LAMPS COMPLETE, WITH PORCELAIN SHADES, WORTH $1.25. ‘30 LONGWEY LAMPS, REDUCED FROM $14.20 TO $ >KERY. MUOLICA FRUIT PLATES, te: U CiliNA THA SETS, MOSS ROSE, 44 5. ceri BARGAINS I CARVED BREAD HOARD AN FE, 65¢. PER SET. PROM 20c. BREAD BOARDS, CALL AND EXAMINE OUR STOCK. White Goods and Lace Curtains. STIQUE, NOTTINGHAM, AND GUIPURE, EFFECTS 1 LACH GUITAINB AT 41-28 8138, 4242552500 $8.80 6, UP TO PINEST. LARGE AND ELEGANT VARIETY IN LACE BED SPREADS, With Shams to match, embracing all the new and nocel effects, at $3, $3.50, $4.50, $5.50, $7.50, to $15 a set. LACE TABLE COVERS. EXCLUSIVELY OUR OWN IDEA, AT §1.80 AND $2 EACTL. sNAINSOOKS, CHECKS, AND CROSSBAR, 2c, 18¢., 20, 236, ic yard VICTORIA LAWNS, from 13c. to 40c. yard. Oigancies, French Nainsooks, Mulls, Lawns = Linen. EMBROIDERED, nite COVERS, from $3.0 to $10 aplece. ITE DAMASK TOWELS, 18c., 20c., 25c., . C, UNBLEACHED TOWELS, 10c., 18¢., PULL LINES IN MARSEILLES AND’ HONEYCOMI BED QUILTS, from 9se. to $12each. EDWARD RIDLEY & SONS, Nos. 309, 311, 311, GRAND STREET, Fos, 56, 58, 60, 62, 64, 66, 6 and 70 ALLEN STREET. § . Nos, 59, 61 and 63 ORCHARD STREET. comicbooks.com