Judge — May 13, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

L, SATE lessen ms Irate Passexoer.—Hit here, you! Where's my trunk? This puff! puff! x IMPUDENT, BUT NOT. FAR. FROM RIGHT. Porten—(to comrade in the distance).—Hoi, Moike ! jst step this icay. Here's Jumbo lost his trunk. infamous—perfect outrage! Here I'ce been hanging round half an hour—lady waiting—outrageous, Another Wicked Art Fraud. Now that the fraudulent pretensions of General Di Cesnola, the alleged discoverer and actual promoter of a scandalous collection of antique bric-a-brac, have been exposed by Messrs. Feuardent and Cook, artis arcades ambo, we would respectfully direct the atten- tion of both these worthy gentlemen and public benefactors to another equally shameless and glaring fraud, recently placed on exhibition at the ‘Patent Wave Museum” in Fourteesth street. We refer, of course, to the celebrated wax statue of ‘The Woman of the Period,” exposed to public view and criticism in the large show window of the above mentioned establishment. The figure is of heroic size, and to the casual observer might easily be mistaken for a veritable masterpiece of Worth, the modern Praxiteles of the present Parisian school of millinery art. The disinterested spectator will promptly pass judgment as to its claim to be considered ‘‘a thing of beauty,” though the impoverished young husband of a fashionable wife may not consider it essentially “a joy forever.” Indeed, so cunning was the artistic hand that designed and wrought out this incomparable model of waxy loveliness, that the uninitiated would unhesitatingly ac- cept it for a genuine monolith, complete in every particular and stunning to a degree. Such, we make bold to assert, and will bet on, is not the fact. We submit that this statue is a wantonly wicked fraud; or, to be more artis- tically exact about it, it is simply ‘‘a clumsy patchwork of unrelated parts.” And, further- more, we offer to prove our position to the en- tire satisfaction of the public, provided an, body will kindly furnish us with the necessai implements—to wit: a sponge, a gallon of bock beer, a crowbar and tomahawk. Here is an opportunity for the public spirited citi- zens of New York to find out (and at but a comparatively trifling expense) whether or not they have been, are being and are still likely to be imposed upon. Observe, if you please, as one specific test among many others equally fatal to the claims set up in behalf of this statuesque fraud, the difference in color between the head and bust, which are of a bright and beautiful pink, and the arms and hands of a dirty tawny yellow! Regard, also, the suspicious shade and unnatural ar- rangement of the hair! We will even venture to wager that it is not hair at all—that it is nothing other in fact than what Mr. John Kelly really had in his mind’s eye when he asserted that somebody or other (Tilden probably) wore ‘a false wig!” Moreover, though we have had no opportunity of examin- ing the interior of the statue, we unhesita- tingly give it as our settled opinion that this boasted monolith has neither feet nor legs! If anybody wants to gamble on this point, to be submitted to a very full and fair investiga- tion, Iet him put up his money now and here! We make these charges, grave though they be, openly, and aboveboard; and we cordially invite Mr. Gaston L. Feuardent and Mr. Clarence Cook to come promptly forward and give us a lift, with a view to their final trium- phant vindication! “Suootine folly as it flies” is, of course, a sportsman’s mark, But it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take an occasional shot at presump- tuous wisdom as it struts. A MAsSsAcHUSETTS man recently killed his mother-in-law with an ax, and, when ques- tioned regarding the commission of the deed, - said it was an ax-ident. FRENCH people especially are addicted to nightmare—the probable result of eating so much horse’ flesh. A MAKESHIFT existence: Making shirts at fifteen cents cach. OF all the sad words of tongue or pen *The saddest are these: “ Mrs, Victoria C. Woodhull is about to re- turn to the lecture platform.” Ir is alleged that ‘‘a young philosopher makes an old fool.” Sammy Tilden was so good that he never got spanked when he was a kid; at least so says the original author of the Morey letter. - 4 “ SHALL the people be trusted?” innocently inquires a Western paper. No—not for drinks—not for drinks. comicbooks.com