Judge — April 15, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Model College Students Brees ' LY THOMAS COMEDIUS, ‘Tiere were five of them in by five policemen they were led we president and Ity looked at them very severely too, | didn't appear to frighten them in the ‘They only t hi fac that least. usher nl ead curled his neighbor's mustache with the butt- end of a cane. ‘That is, all but the freshmen, | who didn’t have any canes or austaches | cither. “Prex” had a cane though, but it was | loaded ! with powder, but with a har of to protect its owner against the ferocious onslaughts of the little pets whom he fod daily with lit Each membe an over: ons, but this pre caution they very unwisely neglected. ‘The chief of the of the wo clothes wer should have Ss orator adents, as a freshma wr the crowd, cut in the nol slish styl ilar was of a spotless white, man,” said the president, as his lusted the ( tarched shirt-bosow act and his ay, white be pohis ui rd nervou: “ young i of willfully and) mali- ciously having broken the rules of this our edu- tional institution, and of having contempt. ‘egarded the laws of the land.” His voice ceased in so solemn and aw! that the five policemen fanned themselves vi orously with their clut ne freshman paused for a moment, and a look of pained surprise overspread his mel- features; but quickly reeovering his composure, he It is nev , to expre man, you are uo. anche forme on behalf of my of i justice we feel has been done us by the ope ldress with which you have honored u You actually insinuated that we have been guilty of acrime! What did we do? Alas! was it our fault that the window of a dry ©? Ought we to be blamed for the death of a man who was i sultin; us of breaking th: window? us that the colleg wood? O Tempora! O smpanions, the d enough to acen Is it owir coveted as tir Mores! Is it possible that we are for the magical chang chimney smoke? A do all this! Suppos doors of the colle nee Wi ponsible into 1 supposing that we did we that we did lock the and bolt the faculty within an unventilated recitati we did shave the janitor's hair head and put fark 1 the Bible generally stoed on the ding Desk! Why, there can’t be any harm in litt freaks of that description!” At this juncture the faculty dise shoes at the speake allowed the heavy of police, who stood un lingly behind him. “Why, Prex, old boy,” . who, by aid of an offi coattail, pulled himself adroitly on his feet, ‘aren't you aware that our sort of men are sometimes a Ke lume of ovel ereet position, and to serenade the chie ida little s r rubs | | widow | idents, or bi THE JUDGE. NS YS ONE OF THE LITTLE Pheawe, sir, m x whey has just be da low ous set? n't you hear about the fel nic in the faculty hash-dlis that put ar Didn't you hear that was actually blown te le itated and long de powder plot? Didn't you hear of the B.S. that got his de- et gree by entering the laboratory and i: arette over an uncorked bottle of rea genuine, explosive nitroglycerine?” He stopped ! knees, supplicating for merey The faculty endeavored to pr speaker with their cneyelopedi: enough strength in the able. the to height of the ku on th nen were on their iv The police nd for ripitate the but only arms to ive volume tain the ng. polic and need with a dull literary thu h his Ie z few indistinet. words s, and reform n Line nen's heads, tion. n thought he and leaping to his feet a “So you want us to reform, do you ? els with ehicken rus to start a 1 to his shout So you want us to be tin win Wouldn't you pr for escaped pri list pital for student Wouldn't it please you, if WW” to © cont «d orphans of murde Ian ele where Profs’, chik perhaps you'd like us ; ct _as presidents toa fix Well then, to plant five theo- uit among the Choctaw ns, and bribe the government to.bire ay. matory] ove ve little alty of army of lan monument ! We'll Barn ware body ne | brutes te } You have | crated, fac students cane | generations of literary men destroyed by vol- ues of poison, but, verily, Oh Prex, thou shalt sev greater things than these!” , . ‘The faculty had fainted! ‘The president snored peacefully, as th nt five threaded their way amongst the prostrate s of the policemen, and disappeare a pa Freneh glass, whieh had hitherto been used asa window, Oy the ho Craven. street |, London, cirentar tablet" has been fixed, with these worls * Livesl he nklin, Printer, Pi r and Statesman. Born 17 sh myer ‘This is all very well so far as it goes; but it doesn't £0 q historian imi that, in this L. lived is ade perhaps th the © Contes ions. n's big ¢ Prex, Im) Ae: Well! enthrot »phia of Afri Wor sting you on the [de seen windows broki y meet mnized as ite far pt have ho young’ eat and good philosopher—but 1 dur ‘ds the We'll d I this an , ye you on the back o ant, and procure you a an virgins mounted on We'll give you the ti | "and hire twenty of M 1, chapels « ywH Up, expelled martyr sain ings t nd whole enough, Th cle veraciou 1 with equal truth decupar nd that the iz y by ish widow; subject for further inforn uder had bet wor Ric ation consult comicbooks.com ’