Judge — April 15, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ERRATICS.” rly opened, Mormonism, oleomargarine, and fertilizers are spreading in Pennsylvania, Cant J. (New Jerusalem), has a mi croscopical society. It works in a fruitful pasture. There are some “mitey” small things in Camden besides cheese. OF course it was left for a Jersey legislator to become the Shinn-bone of contention, A Vireisia paper is called The Its editor no doubt su Wealge. ports a split ticket. SINCE Ma low wealth, h the G chusetts is the only prominent Long-fel- the ** the poet's ¢ wernor of no encomium”™ common- Ir Minister Lowell is re-ealled we wonder what his new name will U Some people pick up informat ly as if it were an over-heated poker. nas ging Iy our time we have seen good-natured sliberately make uta mask factory, and have marveled that the f ed such proceedings. workmen ces oprie- tor countenat Never judge a paper-hanger by his “size.” A STRIKING evidence of celestial agriculture is the hay-low ‘round the moon, Wues you want to tickle a pretty woman stick a handsome ostrich plume under her nose. Tue traveler who writes up the Amazon must be a Para-grapher. Ir is easier to “trust in Providence” than to get credit at Newport. ‘The late General Burnside might have said this, but he didn't. ‘Tuar railroad which te: is the regular “Fall Ri Is direct to Niagara Line,” “TALKING of domestic breadstuff marked old Hezekiah Hochandle, “ as hard to stall a New Yorker phian.” was identitied by the antique bull he corpse of the wretched granger eye watch, “Tue trials which are in store for us” are retailed both by measure and weight, and we get a heaping quantity either way. AttTHoucH the lion is called “king of " every naturalist will tell you that no. animal outranks the polecat. Wuex a man’s schemes come to “naught” he cuts a very sorry figure in the world. Mapame Boyanza Mackey indignantly de- nies the engagement of her daughter to Prince Phillipe de Bourbon. She says that none of those low Kentucky distillers shall ever “worm” themselves into her family. | How To Do It. We: delight in practical ideas, more es- pecially when they benefit the human rac There has always been much trouble attend- ing the keeping of our streets clean, but i on for it, and now comes to the front ius Dunk with a plan, which we give , for doing this feat perfectly and in a most expeditious manner, All that is required is to have a huge cover to the streets, with a ke receptacle under it; these covers to be hinged and worked by powerful ma- chinery. At night, afer trafic is over, these covers can be let down, as shown in the see- tional drawing, emptying all the dirt down out of sight, ater which they can be rinsed off with a hose and elevated into position again ready for the next day’s business, all ch see the point? rere 1, Her Motto. E are only two characters in this ; he and she, He had been paying quite marked attentions to her for about three and both evidently meant busin ‘They both went to the same chureh nd Sunday-school; were both more or less pious, probably more, for they lived in a rural district, and knew not the wiles and guiles | life in a great city. ‘The holid proaching, and she began to think what she could give him that would be not only season- ple and appropriate, but which would at the same time “sorter nudge him on” in the way he should go, So, after studying for a lo time, she hit upon a motto, which she worked with ly i nds. It was revival hymn—I need thee every hour,” and the next time he called she blushingly presented it to him, He read it, and blushed a tritle himself, but being honest, he was bound to make an hon- est reply to the sentiment made up of worsted and perforated card-board. He looked from it to her three or four times, and finally man- aged to work out: “Now, Molly, you know how it is. workin’ for Sl chores ter dc an’ see yer ¢ I'm a- quire Bacon, an’ have lots of I don’t see how I can come ‘y hour; but every night arter KEEPING OUR STREPTS CLEAN, Tinilk an’ fodder the critters T'l be with ye, sure.” Molly saw that he didn’t exactly compre- hend the sentiment of her motto, but she knew that he was honest, and would do the best he could. So the thing went on “ntil last fall, when they were married. Not nature, yral, no cards; only plain human A Wrong Font Kid. ‘Tuis story has nothing to do with the “rul ing passion strong in death,” but it aptly il- lustrates how a man will apply the technical | terms of his trade to outside and ordinary ‘ents. Nearly everybody knows Bob Tanner, the proofreader and master of the art typo- sraphical. He was walking through one of our tencment-Louse districts lately, where the sidewalks were with children of various ages, sizes, and degrees of cleanliness. Bob regarded the swarm for some time, Evi- dently the thought struck him that there might @ mistake made in getting all these pildren into the Doxes when the i distribution but put it | in this way, when, turning to his companion, “Hang me if | shouldn't think that some of the families living in these tenement houses would get a wrong font kid in some of their make-ups.” Compositors at all events can see the point of the joke without howling for a foot note. swarmin; Der came, he he said: | | New Jersey is still a tree and independent State, but itserves the railroad men just right. After this they will know better than to at- tempt to buy up the Legislature at the rate of one hundred and fifteen dollars a head, der- sey legislators hegin to know their value. “On, the Hoxfords won, you know, hof course they did. Didn't I give you the straight tip, my dear fellow? oxford ev'ry time, my dear boy, ev'ry time!” Tue legislative committee appear to be making it exceedingly H. O. 'T. for our fat Commissioner of Public Works. comicbooks.com