Judge — March 25, 1882 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— What's the matter with your dog's ears ? Sstvvers.—Why, 1 was tol once, 80 I clip a little bit off ¢ JAY CHARLTON. Bit Nye's book is to be called “ The Forty Liars.” A man whocan play upon forty liars should, in heaven, be able to make his harps accord. JuLieT Corsoy says that peas from the South are in delicate condition, and that they should be eaten piping hot. Oh! these be hot piping times of peas. “Tam perfectly fried,” said a young Is ata ball, A half-clderly maiden near the wall whispered, ‘1 didn't know she was fried, but she's ready for it; she seems to be rolled in flour.” He was old, but he was good, and he re- membered his long and painful married I as he said, “ With all thy-faults, I love thee Cyrus W. Fievp thinks that the man who chipped his block was Handy Andre. A Marriep man of Louisville was found ina doctor’s pickling vat. The doctor thought that, although he was dead, he ought to re- main in the married state, Leutting, ant as Pm very humane | the same direction. THE JUDGE. I didn't like to take them off all at PLasrieip, N.J., a highly religious town, where even the pies were pious and the | what-you-callcms sang Watts’ hymns in the | swamps as gentle spring thrust its yellow reeds up through the veillike beautiful snow But now at last it has fallen, Some of its too-two-or-three pilgrims have done wrong, and even one of its most religious stallions has nearly killed a man, It must be a very queer town when even the horses kick. was SULLIVAY’s best hit, unlike that of Heenan, is with his right; but it was a hot day when Ryan got left. ManriEp people should be like a pair of scissors. Th cut in opposite dircc- tions, but they should be riveted together, and in the end they will find that they both cut in Oscar Witpe's followers are sicklied o'er with the yellow cast of thought. Ax elderly lover of Bergen County the young lady whom he wanted in ma “T have a very fine farm of nice red soil.” | “Yes,” said she, “and if your boots take i in doors nights as you do here, you'll soon have it all in out of the cold.” Now it is again claimed that Miss Annie Louise Cary will quietly marry in the autumn when the pears are ripe, Annie does not wish to die an old maid, although she claims still to be one of Mother Cary's chickens. Rorvs Hatcu has gone to Bermuda, where he has a farm, But what will Rufus Hatch there? He was a spoon, and that is the reason why she said she did not like to imitate the Chinese and cat ice-cream with a stick, but with a spoon, Tue best dancer in a Canada town is named Hammer. He must be a trip-Hammer, A Wasutxctox Democrat being asked how ex-Senator Eaton, of Connecticut, would do for President, said he was an old plum. No we insist that the proof of the plum-pudding is in the old Eaton, but how much above proof the spirits say not, EX-SeNaTor McDoxap, of Indiana, is spoken of by the Democrats for President. The only thing against him is that he wears whiskers on his Adam's apple like Frelinghuysen, in the “Galway slozgers” style, and carries his silk hat on the left car, when the right car is more fashionable. Senator PENDLETON, of Ohio, continues to be called ‘Gentleman George,” whether be- cause he is more gentlemanly than the average shington statesman, or because he shines in comparison with most Ohio politicians, does not yet appear, ‘Tue English are now disparaging our oys- ters, and saying that the little green coppery rs of Europe are better. We would not give a copper for a green oyster, and think that we can give the English blue points on | the article, and still win, Geol Prue. Winttast Cortis’ first heroine was His last hero is himself, a prude, ” ANpre's monument is up above, and on the opposite shore from, Spy-t-un dyvel. Mr. Sua, formerly of the Atlanta Consti- tution, having branched out for himself in Florida, will carry with him an Old Si-clo- pedia of fun, as scold days when ShobeleM. Foots are gene said of a man that Ii ly soft, and yet itis often 3a little fool-hardy, GENERAL MCCLELLAN is a favorite leader of the German dance. No one knows where he will make a break. Ove seldom finds fault with the punctuation of a check endorsement. Disrakwt said that every moment is travel. Yes, and some women’s tongues go by the hour, i | comicbooks.com