Judge — March 18, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

santas VOX POPULI. Waar do you think the world would say If some one should hit on a plan some day Tom political atmosphere pure? “This fellow was born to die young, I'm sure,” That's what the world would say. How do you fancy the world would view A statesinan, honest, and good, and true, hould advocate measures he thought were best? to feather his own little nest,” Thus would the world construe. Imagine, I pray, what the world would think Should some kind millionaire just on the brink Ofthe grave, in supporting the poor spend his wealth? “He'd never do that if he had good health, That's what the world would think. It's awfully sad, bat it’s awfully true, They'll jeer you, no matter how well you do; Ifa fellow, inspired, writes poems divine, Some editor's certain his work to decline. ‘This world should be made anew! BV. PECK. “ ERRATICS.” Tne members of the renowned “Swiss Fam- ily Robinson” were not of the true breed. one of them ever ate schweitzer kase. Wuar was the use of the poct Thomson yell- ing: “Come, balmy sleep, tired Nature's swect restorer,” when he knew well cnough that Macbeth had murdered sleep, and that Sancho Panza had embalmed and canonized its i ventor. ‘Tue clock on the mantel is never regulated by the “ Watch on the Rhin Iv a workman asks for steady employment, is it what the auctioneer calls ‘‘a hire bid?” "Tis quite impossible to be full of beer and energy at the same time. “Tue thyme is out of joint!" exclaimed Hamlet when he discovered that the head cook at Elsinore had forgotten to season his roast beef. Doy’r be too ready tostep into a dead man’ shoes. The corpse may have neglected to re- move the pegs. “Tey dollars a quarter,” said Moneypinch, as he read the dancing master’s advertisement. “Ten dollarsa quarter!” he repeated. “ Why, any fool knows that it only requires twenty- five cents to make a quarter.” Tuey tell usthat hearty laughter is condu- cive to longevity. ‘Tue Jupce is therefore an active coadjutor of the Life Saving Service. ‘Tose who had acquaintance with the gal- lant Captain Jinks may remember how a horse- marine drinks a pony of brandy. A Sr. Lovis man, named Charles Jones, ys he was kissed by General George W: ington, What is it in the atmosphere of St. Louis which makes men-dacious? Perhaps ‘Two thousand years ago the Chinese could see the elephant” without leaving their na- tive shores, Zoological gardens were quite the rage in the Flowery Kingdom twenty cen- turies ago, and it is probable at that period even the wild boars had their “ pi plaited, Au London epicures take ‘‘stock” in old ale. Tue thought occurs to us that every “Cobb” isn’t ‘‘corned.” There's our old friend Syl- vanus Jr., for instance. Tue iron collar of debt is usually so tight that it stops the free circulation of credit. ALFoxso is quite philosophic for a king. He takes his pleasure with his Spain. Tue shrewd chap is one who can get mad and never let his fren'zy that he's lost his temper. This pun was not found floating in the bilge water 6f Noah’s ark, but it ought to have been there, all the same. 1 © Wuo laid the cable?” “T, rag-man Cyrus; Now Europe is able To every day wire us— For I laid the cable.” m1. “ Who tuadied to Britons?” “T, flunky Field, I memorialized Andre, The spy, and I'll yield George kissed him for his Martha-r. That I toadied to Britons.” ated circus clowns try very hard to gro- Youne actresses like to grow hand Antiq’ tesque, Nonopy disputes a distiller’s willing spirit, Iv’s rather too willing to tickle every con- vivial palate. Sooy will be heard the cry of the seaside hotel keeper, @ la Henry V.—“Once more unto the beach, kind friends!” Aywa Dicktyson is “drawing immensely” in the West, says a provokingly laconic ex- change. But as to what Anna is “drawing immensely "—whether checks, bills of change, or a baby carriage—we are left to grope blindly in the dark. Tue wife of a colored Methodist parson in Indiana, who found arsenic instead of sugar in her tea-cup, has confided her opinion to a grand jury that her reverend spouse is ‘‘a kind 0’ careless pusson.” Ovens houses are going up in most of the Colorado towns,—News item, ‘The phrascol- ogy is somewhat ambiguous, but if it means “going up” a la mode financiere, then we fail to sce wherein ‘Colorado towns” ditfer from other towns as regards that by nomeans uncommon eventuality. ‘Tue Flower that all are not praising: Ros- well W., M. C. . Mame Hayes, the precocious kleptomaniac of West Troy, is no relation whatever to, or possessed of any of the conscientious ‘ tak- ing” qualities of, Rutherford B. Ia MS comicbooks.com