Judge — March 18, 1882 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. “Good Old Java.” It was a sunny day in leafy June. The green woods were bright with beauty. ‘The gay lads and bonnie lasses were as happy as hearts could be. Music filled the air with its magic spell, and jolly feet and jolly hearts leaped for joy through the mystic mazes of the merry dance. The girls were all so lovely, and vied with cach other in chasing the happy hours away. ‘The spectators thronged around in joyous gaze at the charming scene. When, lo! a button broke and revealed the fact that the sweetest girl at that picnic had used her mother's coffee sack in improvising a suitable bustle for that happy occasion. And while the sp read the words printed on the sack, as plain as the handwriting on the wall—* Good Old Java "—thejunconscious maiden, as innocent as a cherub, bobbed up and down, wheeled round and round, as happy tors and as gay as the lark when he brushes from | his breast the sparkling dew and greets in joyous song the morning sun, dri coffee sacks nor the name of “Goop OLD Java.” Those Spring Poets. Marcu is here! The first day of Spring has arrived! The time of editor has commenced! And the middle-aged female, who refused all those numerous sug- gestions to change the name of her fathe family, gazes out upon the new-born verdancy of nature, listens to the innocent toot-a-toot-toot of the merry birds, scents the savory inspira- tions of the pure atmosphere—then grasps, with long, skinny fingers, the handle of her favorite stub pen, and stains the unfortunate note-paper with the following: agony © maiden Spring! as pure as woman, maiden! Thy children are the leaves and flowers divin Thon with ma Janey art lade Thy charms too great for man—and so are mine, And the festive bachelor of forty hears once more the soft voice of her whom he loved—(but she loved not)—sees in the gladsome aspect of joyful nature the joys that might have been —(but they weren't)—feels upon his rough chin the balmy breatfi of the untainted season, Well! this is the consequence!— 0 bacheloric season of the year! False Winter with malarial cold is past; Thanks be to Thee that she got on her ear, And left me quite unmarried at the last. And Grosvenor’s disciple gazes senti- mentally at the clevated sun—flowering oute upon the restful earth, seems to soar on am- bitious wings to where the school-boy flies the penny kite amidst the ethereal fleeces of th lamb-like clouds—and transmits the followin to manuscript: My soul soars aloft like a half-dollar kite, While Patience has hold of the string; Like the loveliness, pure, of resthetical light Is the quite gaudy, leonine Spring. And rheumatic old grandpapa rubs the inter’s cold from his gout-affected limbs, succumbs to the Arabian charm of the at- mosphere, quaffs his eleven o'clock toddy (celal the too-tonical stem of a new! ning not of | FIELD Brown goes ont for a day's shooting, taking his lunch along in his jacket pocket, and is followed by all the vagrant dogs in the villa budded dandelion, and calls for his terrified seeretary to mail this to His Honor, Tur Jupce: T’m a four-score-and-ten old gent— That is, in Winter, you know; Ethereal Sp priows thin, For the gout and the rheumat But the Editor retires quickly from the breezy air, telephones for a vody-guard and ten extra paper baskets, swears (that is, wants to swear) at the trembling form of the fast approaching mail-carrier, throws subseription checks and contributed manuscripts indis- criminately into dhe ste-paper baskets, calls in vain upon the Goddess of Cranks to favor him with a pass to the Insane Asylum, swallows a soup-spoon full of poison, and, while longingly waiting for death to end his sufferings, adds the following to the last page of his will: Most willingly now I yield up my life, My vital sensations and reasons, My labored-for wealth, my children and wife, Provided the grave has no seasons, Oh, Editor's Refuge! Most bh Oh, waited-for hole in the sr Fair spot without atmosphere, blae sky or flowei And with not a Spring poet around! Receive now my soul! O wondrous Review, Let Spring go to h—t I'll contribute to you. —Tuomas Comenius, ‘Tne political rod. Aaron A. Sargent did not blossom in full cabinet fruition, it is true, but the healthy bud of a foreign mission 1s not tobe despised. Had it yielded only a Cali- fornia postoftice, it is safe to presume that the soul of Aaron, though triflingly dejected by disappointment, would have managed to con tent itself somehow. Even a pair of old pantaloons, as a dernier resort, might have borne healing in their seat. Wuar'’s ina name? Ei idently all that our lucky young Scerctary of War possesses, Siev of a cool summer: The announcement that Mr. Charles Francis Adams will not spend the coming season abroad, spony Seeing his surroundings, in a moment of terror he takes to a tree, and the hungry dogs go for the lunch, Oxk might suppose—and not be so very far out of the way, cither—that the French title of Chevalier @ Industrie took its origin from the concern just brought into notice through the South American imbroglio, and styling it- self the Credit Industri other in more ways t 1. The te an one, fiteach OF PUBLIC INTEREST. QUACKS, ADVENTY RS, AND IMPosTd When the worl was in {ts infan superstition, so-called 1: Infested the world to {ta ical pretentious jugglers and quacks iment. Thi mosphere of clviliza ew class of ailventur. it Impostor. w rads them to huta! elucation and the general d dtheir ranks, 7 ton, we are bese ea, chi Koow ine, Fat Fnostrumns, put ‘as Ignorant of the Ost principles e of therapeutics, together by persons who a of matena medica as they BENSON'S CAFCINE, STE ts pre-eminently an article of extraoninary merit. and after a Fx Is pronounces to be the leat family tnedieioe article ever compoapde, "liessox's CarciNe Pharmaceutical preparation of the highest order of Morsed and recommended by OFER 6,000 rity ANS, PHARMACISTS, Di ists ‘Wino sense @ nastram or Datent tng from any ailment for which external tem ‘one trial will convince the most skeptical Of t Of fessnn's Carcise PLASTER, the Won CAP-CLNE p ihout which they are spariow wrdruggist will supply you.” Price, 25 ce t in the center ‘Any pharma: Skancny & Jouxsoy, Pharmaceatical Chetulsta New York. 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