Judge — March 11, 1882 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

_ —— SAUsACE CAeBage LIVER, HASH PORK & ABIAN WAM Astuere | A MOST EXTRAORDINARY EVENT. Reappearance of the Prophet Elijah in New York City. WILL SEND YOU ELUAI THE the com Land the Lon.” He has and will orth-east corner of 23d st. and Strangers invited, Benonn, 1 ' Prophet befor wilful day at ra, ding the above Times of Sunday, THe wiped them ling of advertisement in the Jupae took off his carefully, and with astonishment reperused the No, there was no mistake announcement was clear, ex- plicit, unambiguous, ‘The Prophet Elijah had arrived in New York, and would make his first public appearance at the place and hour speci- At least, so read the advertisement. ing for his telephonic enune’ connected at once with the residence of the 1 reporter, and called aloud: “Hello, hello!” ‘The reporter, who happened at that moment to be engaged in the chemical analysis HO: SPIR: FRUMENT, promptly responded: “ Hello, hello—yourself.” “Ts that you, Jereboam?” “The same. And you are——” Jupce.” All right. Fire away.” “Great news! ‘The Prophet ed in town.” “The profitable what?” profitable nothing, numskull, the Prophet—the Prophet F Twig “Oni, oui; je tw es, some fi printed lines. about it, The tor, he lijah has ar- Tsaid 1-vOUS ? “Ile preaches at the College, Twenty-third strect and Fourth avenue, this afternoon at three o'clock sharp—hear?” “The decalogue you say?” “The what?” Never mind. Well?” “Be on hand and report him—that’s all.” Great Heavens t is it possible any one can get any enjoyment from that bill of fare ? “ All right, your honor, “By, b ‘ood day for prophets cithe the reporter, as, with ging! sallied forth to punch the tempe: in the direction of Twenty-third street and Fourth avenue. But prophets and come and go together, and to secure the one, you must risk the other, Prophet Elijah and preaching plus: time and shoe- tion: X+ Y= Y- The solution be- came more apparent when the reporter sud- denly but unintentionally sat down (not al- gether for the purpose of thinking the matter over at his leisure) in the middle of a street crossing. mused m in hand, he uous breezes losses ather minus Arrived at the Colle Surgeons, the coblin-li ians and porter inquired of a gi rdian of the portal if it was time rophet Elijah had arrived, and was to be found on the premises? He allowed that such was the fact, and pointed a digital member in the direction sought. Following his nose, which was not unsusceptible to odors farfrom encouraging, the reporting man at once found himself in the company of col- lected worshipers. It isa cold day, indecd, when New Yorkers get left—espccially on the ect of prophets. Out of a population of only a million und a quarter, nineteen several men and women had assembled to welcome the Prophet Elijah, To this goodly number was added, later on, half of one per cent., in the person of a colored man. mand While the swelling tones of the melodeon, churned most assiduously by an energetic sis- ter, fair, fat and fifty-five, if'a day, were rav- ishing the enraptured air, the reportorial eye roamed furtively over the assembled imulti- tude in quest of Elijah; for the hour had ar- rived without any outwardly visible sign of its esteemed contemporary, the Prophet, An emaciated elderly personage, enveloped in a | vari-colored woolen muftler, and supportin, enormous pair of gold-rimmed evinced, both by his glances and movements, an anxicty apparently equal to that of his near neighbor, the reporter. ‘The latter was ‘on the point of asking the cause of his in- quictude, when suddenly the melodcon ce the man in the mutller arose and m straight to the reading desk. Spirits of just men made perfect—but it was the Prophet himself! Business before prophecy, however, prompt: ly asserted itself on this ¢ The first exercise in the order of proceedings was the passage of the contribution plate. ‘This not over-laborious task was accomplished by the door-keeper already mentioned, who had joined the assemblage, thereby increasing the num- ber to twenty-one, ‘The amount realized was in the neighborhood of forty-seven cents, in- cluding twoor three picces t picious resemblance to antique buttons, Mod- esty, characteristic of the profession, forbids the reporter to name the sum of his own con- tribution spectacles, sed, rehed bore a sus- From some cause or other, the Prophet did not appear entirely happy. Possibly on ac: count of the weather, Possibly for some other amd far weightier It would be pre- sumptuous, perhaps, to suggest a deficit in the collection, But whatsoever the provoca he seemed determined to get even somehow. Ife flung open the Bible with a ba pitched into Zachariah fashion that would I used that ancient worthy to go up a tree for certain, had he been present in the flesh, For the present race of theologians he had absolutely no bowels of compassion. “ They "he shouted, pounding the Holy Writ as though he half suspected some of them had taken refuge under its “they are theological hypocrites—thcologieal blockheads — theological a-a-a, that's what they are!” At this period of the performance two af- frighted members of the congregs a break for the door, whereupon the Prophet took occasion to remark, by way of paren- thesis, “You can't blame people who are beaten over the head by the Word of i jumping and running, can you?” ion, ng, and ve are covers, pstic jon made All things have an end, and so dic Prophet's discourse. On quitting the y, the reporter came in contact with the gate-keeper of Zion, and inquired: “Where does the Prophet put up? at the Fifth Avenue or the Brunswick?” “What Prophet?” he asked, in answer, “Why, the Prophet Elijah of course; the oratorationist of the afternoon, as it were,” He smiled—a sad, subdued, unhealthy sort of sinile—and said “Tle ain't no Prophet; he's Bishop Snow.” “Oh nett: AN old grunter says: “None of the great in- tellectual characters of the past ever did a stroke of hard manual work.” Why, yes they did. Everybody knows that Ben Franklin made sa Tue great American dumb-wa Jones Tilden, comicbooks.com