Judge — March 4, 1882 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THEATRICAL BRIEFS. May it Please Your Honor: In the case of the People es, W being a citizen of the State of Illinois, and a resident of the City of Chieago, in the said State, did feloniously compose, Invent, write and prepare a certain deadly allel, to be used, employed and delivered by the n etal. against the people of the State of New York, ace and dignity. Indictment further sets forth that the said Lawrence Brannigan et al. to wit, Louls James, Frederick Bock Marie Wainwright, and others, did, upon the 13th da of February, 1882, at Haverly’s Fifth Avenue The so called, with malice aforethought, present, produ and perform such alleged tragedy by Willian Young, as aforesaid, to the great burt and distress of the people of the State of New York, and against their peace and dignity. Jurisdiction demurred to by the ground that the said Young is indeed a resident of the State of Ilinois, and not amenable to proseeu- tion in the State of New York for the offense as charged in the indictment. Demurrer overruled and trial ordered to be proceeded with. Case opened for the People by Edward T. Neville, Esq. The issue to be decided is (1) whether or not the said play or tragedy of + Pendragon,” 80 called, fs indeed a tragedy; (2) whether or not the said p or tragedy, 80 called, is injurious and hurtful to the people of the State of New York, thelr peace and Aignity; (8) whether or not, in performing and pre- senting said play or tragedy, 80 called, the defendants have not maliciously and willfully injured and hurt the people of the State of New York, their peace and nity, a8 aforesaid. Alfred Tennyson, sworn for the people; is an En, lish poet Inureate—a professional manufacturer of odes, lyrics and idylls. Recollects having written cer tain pooms entitled “Elaine,” “Vivienne,” * Enid, “Guinevere,” “Sir Gawain,” and “Morte d'Arthur, Recognize in play, so called, of Pendragon,” char- acters Invented by himself and blocks of blank verso dolinerately abstracted from his own poems. Most of the other blank verso is tawdry and pretentious, and ratterly without meaning or merit. Oscar O'Flaherty Flanigan Wills Wilde, sworn for the people; is an Asthete by profession; is accepted ‘everywhere a8 an authority on Beanty; ‘Pendragon ” displays neither the leonine glory of the sunflower endant, Young, on nor the pensive beat y of the lily; on the contrary, is an insipid and unutterably undelicious vehicle for the expression of Mr. Brannigan’s too-too consummately unprecious and attenuated legs. The lines of * Pe dragon” do not compare with those of * Ave Impera trix,” oF other poems written by witness; are pre- eminently intense in their soul-wearisomeness and perabsolutely profound in their exupidity Cross-examined.—Am not a Land L reposeful confidence in the consummate beauty of my own legs no extra few for sup) keys tou meaning of my longer poems; have written a pla titled Vera Sassaliviteh; have offered it to eve speaking the English language, from Jobn L. Too down to Lawrence Branu tried to induce ott to suggest to Miss Clara Morris that there in it; I mean by the phrase “professional that I make my liviog by wearing knee- standing in grotesque attitudes, and using guage which, like the grace of God, *passeth all understanding,” and not hostile to Mr. Br e even thinner than my own. John Stetson, sworn for the People: Is a Professor of reco-Roman English at Harvard University; thinks that “ Pendragon” is a corrosive sublimate kind of a play; Lawrence great hystericionic st, but witness does not think he amounts to much; never heard of the Idylls of the King; does not know iguer; havea san; have nnigan because his le Brannigan may be whether it may not be a Chinese word expressive of paganism; never heard of King Arthur—unless it is a funny name for Joe Arthur, the author and comedian of Bostor and incidents of ** Pendragon” purely conventional; has been told that pn” is not as good as the worst piece written by n Knowles; have heard several friends froin Boston pronounce it “snide,” pretty tart, 1 otherwise condemn it in a highly cultivated the situ; ene rsa-examined.—Am recognized as one of the literary features of Boston; write all my own three sheet posters; was never requested by Mr. Joha Smith ty play Dick Deadeyo in Pinafore (the witness’ re- marks at this point became unfit for publication). Am a manager in not much of a critic, but would give any snoozer the boot that made such a wauling fool of himself as Mr. Brannigan does in dragon;” think Mr. Brannigan is of bis chump anyhow; would not give him a date at any theater under my management; think straight tragedy no good —played oat; Jack Cade and some of them other Roman snoozers back for money in them—but it depends upon Am willing to swear that Mr, Bran- "to get even with the for giving him a cold shake in his other parts; knows the witness, Tennyson, well—knew him when he tended bar opposite the Howard Atheneum; am never put out by what the morning newspapers. say about me; decline to explain why I care so little for the newspapers; it is my own business whether I can real or not; the scenery of Pendragon” is too pedantic—so is the piece itself. pod standing; Pendrago with affidavits of each defendant that no animus of lice actuated them, Found that defendants are not guilty of malice afore- but that Pendragon,” a tragedy in blank- socalla, shall in future be sold by druggists on ns’ prescriptions only, a8 a powerfal and highly \gerous narcotic. All of which is respectfully submitted. Tur Revere. THE Chinese celebrated their New Year's last week. It was done in the tea-chest lan- guage, but with American accompaniments. They went around calling, and by nightfall were gloriously drunk, ‘allie samic likie Mel- ican man.” ‘They whooped her up red hot, and the morning following many of them were brought before the police courts with heads swollen so big that their pig tails wouldn't fit. TuERE appears to be an epidemic of fire lately. Is it possible that that old Chicago cow is still alive and kicking? How tenderly touching and true the old saying—‘‘Here to-day and gore to-morrow If you have the least doubt about it, put y dollar on a gig combination in th shop. The doubt will vanish; also the dollar. par policy New rye is said to be “coming up nic When it becomes Old Rye it will go down nicely, too. Coxuxprum: Why is Talmage’s jaw like the one Samson used in slaying tho Philis- tines? Don’t all answer at once, please! Barber (to customer): very fast, sir. Customer (to barber): Generally does this time o’ year. Fresh crop in the spring, you know Nair falling out Dios Bouctcavtt says that all Ireland needs is selfgovernment. That's what we always thought. Waxtep to know: How much the cup of glory holds?— Curious Exchange. Well, it varies, With Mr. James G. Blaine, at present, we should say it holds about as much as the eye of a cambrie needle. We have heard a gr deal about the Hawkeye, but nobody has ever yet told us what that Burdette. ‘THEY may worry ‘Blaine of Maine” as much as they like, but Tue Jupce believe him to be the coming instead of the going man in polities, Stam reformers and moral leaders should be bounced, Oscan F, 1.—Too long for t rest {t contains. Con- sigued. ANGELINA." —"Tie JeDoE Is simply eplendld."” It is well that you hide behind @ single name, oF we ould Blush right out slow, Ob, you middy grit Aanint.’t—" What kind of fowers last the longest, do you think! Well, we have bad some experience with Mowers, ‘and, taking all Kindy {nto consideration, we are Inclined to Relieve that wax flowers last tho longest, provided they are pot pat in an oven oF given to children to play with. If there is anything else lasing heavily on your mii to ux. We take pleasure in solving diteult que friends, C.D, C.—This correspondent wishes to know how to pick out fa good horse. We do not pretend to be very Dorsey, but would suggest that the question propounded hold te a trite more definite, for there are various kinds of good horses For instance, there is the rocking-horse, the clotbes-borse, and horse-hadish, and the horse-chestnut, all of which are good and casily “pleked out" If be means a horse-pistol or horve-ty, wecan give him no advice, If be wants a fist horse, or “a horse of anotter color,” why docs be not say sot Or (Cit horse marine be is after, we refuse to give any advice. 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