Judge — January 21, 1882 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Mcctt Travettp Party.—I (Aic) shay, mishter, don't cher santer buy er horshe ? office of ‘The Black Sheep Helping Hand As- sociation,” and tells that she and her fa y The shepherd of that fold con- fronts her with an ice-pitcher glare, and before her story is half finished, says: “My dear good woman, I am very sorry that we cannot do anything for you; but the fact is, the city has giver us nothing this year, and the sa aries of our officers are three months in ar- rears,” are starving. Yes, we see all this, yet we know that there are chances to bestow charity in the garrets and haunts of those who are too proud to beg, too honest to’ steal, Naturally we look charitable ions, who not only draw money from the city government, but from the people who wish to do good, but they fail to reach them, mostly because of excuses which they find on account of these fraudu- lent beggars. The buckct-shops get ninety-nine cents of every dollar that the street beggar gets of us, and those who pretend to have an inter- est in the poor make this an excuse for not hunting up real cases of want, But w they in existence for? Why their high-sound- ing names? Are they traps to catch the charitably inclined? We fear they are. But, aside from both of these extremes, there remains a way to remedy all this. Let the charitable societies put their efforts and resources together, and build a respectable | work-house, where honest poverty may find achance that is not humiliating to carn the bread they need (and honest poverty would make such a place self-supporting), and then let the authorities drive the strect mendicants into this place, where, if they really want the work they pretend they do, they can have a chance, but where, at all events, they will be obliged to carn the bread they need before being permitted to eat it. to our assoc The poor we have always with us, and so we have frauds. We have hearts to give, but we need discrimination. Should not the whole scheme of charity be remodeled so that | honest poverty might get its dues, and fraud | to knead the bread it pretends to need? | just as the Millerites A FRIEND of Boss Kelly writing to us in protest against our cartoon last week, so “John Kelly never skates, he slides,” then we didn’t have the skates the proper place. ‘Too bad! Oh, stened on in D10Gen! when last heard from, was at Newark, N, J., armed with an Edison illu- minator and pursuing his fruitless quest, as usual, NEWARKERS have seen the old adage, “Every man has his price,” and gon better, as follows: “ Every man has his peck ” —peculation. one Tur temper of a certain Southern Con- sman is so hot that it is feared he may set his coat collar on fire, New York does not welcome back the remnant of the Tweed ring, but they come all the same, Noe Pros. invited them, Won- der if they will catch on again under Hubert 0, Thompson? Mote Smiptos did not connect in 1881, but now those who believe that the old girl was @ prophet say that there has been a mistake made in the calculation and interpretation, aimed in their bursting- up hurrah, ‘They say it should read ‘91 in- stead of '81. People giving or taking long notes will therefore govern themselves accord- ingly, And yet if Jay Gould give us his note for a cool million, payable in 1892, we will take our chances on misinterpretation or miscalculation, Jonx BuLt—(to loyal Irishman whom he is employing to stamp out the Land Leaque).— Is the hydra-headed monster dead yet, Pat? Pat.—Faith, yer honor, it’s aloive and kickin’ yet, bad ‘cess ter i Joux KELLY is trying to act the part of oil on the troubled waters of Democracy, but his style of oil don't appear to assimilate with water any better than any other kind. Iris said that the last batch of our late French visitors has gone. And yet this is by no means certain, for we have heard such stories so often that weare justified in doubting if the very last of them have gone even yet. We shall probably hear of another batch bobbing up serenely somewhere out West and being entertained by the people before long. By the way, how many ship-loads of these men were there when they came over to help us out on that Yorktown Centennial? Axp still we are left in doubt as to whether Whittaker cut his own cars or not. This is too provoking for anything, and if the trial is to be had all over again, Heaven help us. SLEIGHING this year is not so slippery or numerous as it was last year, Probably thi is an off year, as it was with apples. Can Mr. Vennor tell us whether the scarcity of apples has any relation to the scarcity of snow? A pat saying: Set a Fenian to catch a Fenian—if you can, SaLuTATION of the seasot Jerry Glas fellow-well-met ?” Tom Spoon to rring times these, eh, old A STRON tachment: . if not altogether fashionable, at- The handcuff, Tur Half Breeds are said to be “ taking water.” We don't believe any set of politi- cians will do that—if they know it. “ALL full inside,” shouted a Broadway stage-driver on New Year's Day. And you may be sure he knew his load. Ir a body snatch a body what a hue and ery! Atall the doctors in the town Suspicion cocks its eye. ‘Tue butcher excels as a linguist. He knows all sorts of tongues. WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENTS. v"—Much obliged. Have complied wit ELy FLy.—Keep on trying. Separate your paragraphs with more space. €. HL CLAUS —Decitned, but not becanse it was not enough," as you seem to fear. * Hoetox."—No, the * Hand of Orion” ts not a newly im. ported Engilah negro minstrel hand. M,C. Dopar.—Sabmit your articles, if you choose and we will pay for what we use—after they are pubiish measnre of salt might be good for your case. CW. S.—Your drawings evince only ontinary withstanding you are an Ohio man, But there a ne what may happen to you—and the world in time. 43, 1 Surrm—Dectined, althoogh we hate to deprive the world of your poetry. We do to, however, simply to give Oscar Whide a show, be belog our gnest at present, you know. W. IL. Haren (Augusta, Ga)—We have answered you tn a former namber of Tne Jepcr, Your last Is too late. We do not propose to run Wilde over a noodle, however good a mark. he may be for a single shot or two, B. B.—" How would an essay on the probability of the moon's being made of green cheese uit your” Pirstrate, “BB.” thing makes us fee! to good as {t does to meet a bright new idea, and this one strikes us as being entirely original. Ha, haha! the Idea of the moon's belng made of green cheese: Go ahead, by all means, Make installments of It, so that we can treat our readers to some of it every week, We don’t care how long you keep it running, only burry it forward. angy perit not owing comicbooks.com