Judge — January 7, 1882 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| THE JUDGE. a | THE LAST NEW-YEAR'S CALL. BY EARL MAR dear, 8 has come and gone. play that racket he ar, an hour or twa Beforw T noticed hi here. side through ny dear. the street, m his wobblin found it of the And was pulled from the b Before he was thr his nursery days. the modern youny mun, Yes, much too innocent,—much, my dear, | His head doesn’t take ow | Ani 80 he will gush som With a glass or two, cout no teanty takes cure of itself the . > But there! didn’t int est leay Ae creme le 1 just ra ‘Wwasthat Chi As he stood the | roe a Ty a Ae eae on ROW ig [the Sceond Adventists will ha ry good circumstances, — But the ques ‘To hart sour feelings, my dear. Obi bi about some other year, now that Eighteen | tion stretches, Jane. It is hard to say to a | For my wit is slippered, you know, and le Hundred and Kighty-one has gi k on |lady that it is best not to get marrie¢ atall, them and all the rest of us. Out of its shad- | bee: : ¢ such things are dear to the Proposed to yout In that horrid plight! 1 ay | Poe ets Dect Wet e wekt ta, hat | OWS comes one great joy. They, our brothers, |heart, and ‘THe JvpcE would hate to say to | {tis just too awfally, utterly quitet who were lost, are found a; Ice-bound | the other sex, don't do it; but to revert to the And of ¢ u'll refer him to your papa. 1 restores the intrepid De Long and the |question, the opinion is that the proper time ‘ors of the Jeannette to expectant Amer: | to get married is when both parti We are cager to grasp the hands of the | rived at the age of discretion, and when the fellows who for three months pulled | female is sure that the male has the means of through Aretic seas from shipwreck to safety. | supporting her, together with the liabilities. Bat | must be off, my dear. pme they will have in European | Excuse our frankness, Jane. Til eee you at church if it do capitals and here at home! — - What a jolly lark it ist Ha, hat Thus the New Year comes in freighted with What a fool a ma nd good omer r its kingdoms, principaliti is of little moment in this univ dl good will. have {don't min x sub rosa, de That the darlin fn the mos How proposed to me but wasn't half so queer, can be when drunk. —Ballou's Magazine. AND why should not a woman forget the i ose who live in gles he ones,” and why should shi of her own sex? 13 coming to, if for “ 5 @ . {permitted to protest in these matte Excuse us for not answering you in) \tary 1], Burnham Fiske writes letters to the ion is too cago Tribune over the initials, ““M. H h and recently poured along paragraph of mud over Mrs. Victoria C. Woodhull, And now the ho rumor is abroad that dyna- } mite bombs are to be fired into Mrs. Fi house, happine: in store Exit 1881. wom: Morier Siiptoy’s famous year passes into | history, and is full of it, ‘Tue Jupce looks | + Whitts, | back over a twelvemonth of mingled: griefs | Jarge for that little | and triumphs, and forward to days prolific | to know is this: “What age does | with happiness, His Honor reiterates the | consider the proper one for a girl to marry? toast of that unctuous okl stager, Rip Van | Jane, Tae Jupce is called upon to decide many Winkle, and extends, to the many thousand | interesting and important questions, but yours s and injunctions, hearty | is of more than the average importance. Itde- wishes for their health and prosperity, Sel- | pends (this is a legal phrase)—it depends upon | dom have so many events of great national | many things. How is he fixed? How are you xed? Is it a mash of money or a mash of the h has been cruelly busy, and its record, | larger blood js? You hand up no bricf, 1 by the murdered Chief Magistrate, | and the Court is left in the dark on th im-| uls us by its length, Statesmen, heroes, | portant points. And you say nothing about} jentists, explorers and chroniclers have gone | your age, which fact places the Court in an the ghostly caravan that flits through | awkward position, If you are forty, Tue] THE new Chinese minister's rear name is Ju. the aisles of centuries. There are fresh bur- | Jupce would say that fifty is a scasonable|If he were to add a “g” to it, and then fill | dens for memory, new themes for philosophy. | time. If you are thirty, he would say forty. | himself with the beverage that stingeth like a Yet the world moves on despite of false proph- | If you are over twenty-five, he would suggest | theatrical critic, he would become very pop- ‘The disciples of Mother Shipton and | that any time would be the proper time, under | ular with a largeclassof American politicians. Some observing person says that “if there were no bald-headed men there would be no allet.” It is a poor rule that won't work both If there were no ballet there would be no bald-headed men—on the front s m