Judge — December 31, 1881 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Legend of Arabia. The wa. ‘aliph Hassan, Ruler of the peculiar potentate. to become irascible upon the slightest pre- tense, and when he did get irascible some- body's head was apt to go off, well known that any cemetery the Caliph patronized was s ful, ‘The Caliph was especially wroth toward the barbers of Bagdad. Regularly ¢ one, and regu He was vei ch week did he go to a new arly ek did that barber die, until at last there w to be a great scarcity of barbers in Bagdad, and those who still kept in the business, just on they beheld the Caliph approaching, would put up their shutters and hang out a small-pox flag. At last one day the Caliph, who had hunted all over Bagdad and failed to tind where he could be shaved, arrived back at h palace in a great heat of . of the dust!” he bawled “hiest thou hither.” w barber “What wantest thou of thy faithful ser- vant?” he asked. “Robber of grave “T wish to be sh ake the Caliph, barber | The bone “Are there not enough barbers in Bagdad, | most cley 0; vated 2” No; [have killed most all of the caititts, and the rest flee at 1 “Why, O prince of the earth? «1 me tod aid Ines eyelash y + Because they bo solicitations. The vivers, hair restorer rouge; that my he: required a shampoo. cups ath with the led whisker 1 ment, 1 was full of dandruff, and They asked me to buy And one vi Me, the Caliph, needing a hot bath! By the beard of the Prophet, I have not bathed for forty years! Mo Rearity, listen.” “Your servant is all ears, O light of the world.” ‘ouldst thou like ty die?” ay.” Phen procure a barber for me who will not vex me with his base importunities. you do not you die.” arity mi all bosses le an obeisance. he went away. Now upon the street called CI «1 a brother-in-law of Mo E weeney. And Pat 5 ble way In his store hung mottoes such ‘ for five cents;" “Use of towel, shekel extra;” ‘‘ Shampoo, ten farthings,” ete, To him went Mo Rearity. A short conversation took place between the two, in which the voice of the Grand Vizier and the word “divvy” were most to be heard. At its close Mo Rearity returned to the palace, “Guider of the sun,” he sa found a barber who will suit you. “Are you sure, drinker of swill? ath arity, one m there re eeney was a barber in an hum- shave I will do as you speak,” | THE JUDGE. ) the barber of fends me, off goes y d, and you will have to bury yourself at your own expense. they went at once to P bowed | in the chai quire from me f A shave. Pat Sweeney stood back as if thunder: | struck, “You would not shave off such superb whiskers!” he exclaimed. Heaven forbid! of my father groan at such ley “Shave!” roared the Caliph; “shave, or I will have thy no: ed off!” “ Allah's will be done,” said Pat Sweeney, and he shaved. He did the job with dexterous hand. n's eyes, “would Thi Never did I be a erin © my ha ach splendid locks. one glorious tress. iph Hassan, “Twill have my the clipper cut it short. No son of a razor-strop dictates 1 will do.” ) ant bends to your ¢ Sweeney said, meckly, as he clipper. When the Caliph’s hair was laid upon the tloor, he said: “Most people, Commander of the need a You do not. as clean as the teeth of behold — er,” Pat ‘hed for the ‘aithful, Your head is Never did I skull so free from dirt or seruff. AMPoo. n peri. mule ied shampoo me right away. me whether my head is clean. dirty; it is fall of sand and ks with filth, Shampoo me!” The Caliph was shampooed. “What are those bottles upon your shelf, he asked, 1 had been Vdry. re hair the Caliph; No one dares tell Lizard, thou dog? r his hes lipsalves, whis- | ker-revivers, and cheek rouge. not need them. Aye, no.” | "1 do need them,” he said, “Give me every bottle upon the shelf. 1 wil! have what I want, No child of lather-cup can dictate to Ring for a messenger-boy. Do the bot- tles up ina bundle and send them to my ad | dre “Have I pleased you, sire?” asked Pat Sweeney, as he pi “Pleased me? ay > is a certified ch for fifty piasters; rth you are my barber, Shut up your shop and move to my lace.” The Caliph left But his faithful Grand Vizier lingered behind, and the sound of coin jingling into his hand ! from t Years figesed, in the Caliph’s service; for the € never was such And Mo Re from gently murmi But you do me. to obey. 1 ix good to the Ir There is nothing like understanding a man, hange. WHIFFS WITH CORRESPONDENTS. W. ©, Jonysox.—The poem b our paper. Tow.—" Ie treating righ of the enemy never retreat in the Tow Baxnn— aidn’t you send tt have butchered a goo old poet, Why entirey FW, Porren. We have used a few o malmler areat your disposition. 3. A. Macox. of course, cannot tell without seeing sour . but they should not be long at all events ar squile: the re OLD Orresne: on will sre what we have used prove your handwriting and nse ruled paper, please. Fase VTi, a Merry Cort | tong, Year. °4 Dovatevor.—We'll trouble Honable and unhappy jok already who can scatter a ci box will 11 for no more as for a pi wid ag epeeddily as a contritvatio W.G, CA What Is a poem worth to yout Well, that de- pends very mach upon whether it Is good for ansthing or However, if it I¢ only long enough, and is written on thick | heavy paper. It wontd certainly te worth something, comicbooks.com