Judge — December 24, 1881 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Original Norristown Budget. ‘Tue following too-too incident occurred re- cently young lady who friend some peacock feathers, remarked with much animation: ‘Aren't they beautiful? Mamma has a big tail——" And as she stop- ped an instant to let her brain catch up with her mouth, the young man looked embarrass ed, and innocently stammered, “ H-l-has she?” The maiden tushed, and hastened to explain that her mother possessed a whole peacock’s tail, Then s jgned for a brief length of period. showing a gentleman jlence re A poet says: “I cannot hate her, though I've tried a thousand ways to do it.” We in- fer that he never called, according to promise, to take her to the opera, only to find that she had gone out carriage-riding with his rival. If he didn’t hate her after such a “snub,” he might try fity thousand ways to do it, and not succeed. A Tipy young lady, short of stature, a man six feet four inches tall, She explained to her friends that he would be so handy to have in the house; he could light the chande- licr in the parlor, and hang pictures without getting on the chairs and soiling them with his boots. A Wow, Society, organized a month ago, meets once a week to discuss matters pertain- ing to cooking and housekeeping. On the oc- casion of its first meeting it was so late when the members got through talking about their neighbors (discussing the new damasse silk dress worn by Mrs. B., and wondering how Mr. C. managed to live so expensively on such a small salary, and whether Miss Blanque, who had been keeping company with young Tahrdie five years, would ever get married, ete.)—it was so late when all these important topics were disposed of that the members con- cluded to defer until their next meeting the object for which they had convened, “Ir is hard te say good-bye,” sings a poct. We never thought “good-bye” was hard to say. Itis certainly much easier than to say one syllable of a Russian general's name. | St. Clair ; : | in the home of an wsthetic family. A | \ ; | and a defect in her off eye, while the hon:ely- | THE JUDGE. Here isa nucleus for a four or five column story, which we haven't time to construct, and, besides, we never tell stories. The truth pays much better, because it ‘Two inclined-to-be-rapid young men were utalogue of a female is so scarce, nok- ing over the eminary, when one moved that they select a couple of | names and, if possible, open a correspondeuce | with their respective owners. ‘The motion seconded and unanimously adopted. “Here,” said one of the youths, “is Estelle Til become her unknown admirer, \ girl with such a romantic and aristocratic ippellation must be high-toned, and as beau- tiful as a poet's dream, Well,” said num- ber two, ‘here's the homely name of Sarah Jane Brown; just for fun Pl send her a tafly epistle.” ‘The letters written and post- ed, and the pupils, also “just for fun,” an- swered them. And it came to pass, ere many moons had waxed and waned, that the q tet met at an eve ption, when the young men made the discovery that Estelle St. Claire had red hair, a p was ing ree nose, freckles, named Sarah Jane Brown w beautiful blonde, gay, vivacious, with a distingue air, peachy cheeks, and sparkling eyes, W reminds us of the late Mr, Shakespeai nundrum, ‘ What's in a name?” THe words “laughter” and “applaus appear in the newspaper reports of the trial of the assassin iteau. A murder trial is not much more cheerful than a debate in Con- gress, where the same words occur; and it will be in order next to have “laughter” and “applause” at a funeral. It might appear a little odd at first, but we should soon get ac- customed to it. “ Anout thirty thousand thieves do busi- ness in London.” This, we presume, does not include bank cashiers and life insurance com- panies. The London thieves never “strike for wages,” save when they strike a man on the head with a club, A Lospoy physician says that a woman's waist, of perfect proportions, should measure two-thirds of the girth round the shoulders. It is important that this fact should be gene ally known, but some young men take so little interest in physiology and so forth that they will visit a girl scores of times without ascer- taining whether the proportions of her waist are perfect; while others, of a more investi- gating turn of mind, embark in the measuring business the first time they call, but have such poor memories that they are obliged to take a new measure at cach subsequent visit. Ir is said that our Sceretary of the Navy will ask the present Congress to appropriate one million dollars to erect a fire-and-storm- proof building in which to house the vessels comprising our navy during the winter. ‘The Secretary wants to save what little navy we have, anyhow; but it will strike thinking per- sons that the sum of fifteen or twenty thou- sand dollars would be enough to build a struc- ture large and durable enough for the pur- WwW. REASONS wny BENSON'S CAPCINE PLASTERS SHOULD BE PREFERRED OVER ALL OTHER FAMILY MEDICINES. First~CLEANLINESS IN USE; they are #0 in measurably neater cnd cleaner In use, ead v0 tach more power I, quicker and effeacious Ja removing ailments, than lini ted vile, salves, pads of every deseription, olct otions, that the frat reason should Induce the public to prefer them, Sccond-INEXPENSIVENESS; withost exceptlor It 4s the cheapest meriturious Luuschold remedy ever com pounded, remedies employed « the India Rabber Por nextly (neorporied ce Fourth Their ection {8 more vicorous then eleetrie'ty, an4 asa lucal remedy they are more poweifal and peuetrat Fif h-One Benson's Capcine Porous Plas: ter will effect more than the usc of a dozen of any other Deand. Sizth—They will quickly cate ai aftcr contin fall ents that other remedies Was use and we o reheve. Seventh—Physicians prescribe them for thelr patients, pre- ferring them 1 whelming proot any other para passer, which alone Is over: eit value aad aaperior merit. CAUTION. See that the word CAYCINE is cut ia the Plaste= Take no other, Price 25 Cents. SEABURY & JOHNSON, Pharmaceutical Chemists, NEW YORK. THE FEATHER WEIGHT UMBRELLA THE NEATEST, LIGHTEST, STRONGEST UMBRELLA MADE. 85.00, in a Neat-fitting Silk Case, MiL.1.E:R’s, 2d $ LEGGAT BROS., CHEAPEST BOOK STORE vrais MA Broadway, cor. 25th St, 6th Ave., cor. HOOKS ALMOST GLV ¥ CATAL 81 CHAMBERS STREET, ‘Third door west of City Hall Park, N.Y. Canada to introduce our new. novelties, Jewelry, Watcber, Tricks. Brazitian Diamonds ‘Cata- Jogue and Sampies sent for 11 one cent stamps Krariiian Dian ods. Tings, Pina. 25, 0. 73 a. from 23 cents up to $2 FELTON MANUFACTURING COMPANY, No. 138 Fulton Street, N.Y.