Judge — December 17, 1881 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ANNUAL Tue aged paternal 5 And the tears his pale chock I tear his tair ot for the fact ponly bald and sighs, cal. Were it That he is a Vrone at his feot I With faltering lips she That he will bestow Fifty de For a dress for the kneels, 4 oF 80 OUR POPULAR FARCES. OUR TELEPHONES REPORTED BY “ED. Characters Mr. Henny Duke's Hotel Mr. Connect me with the Filth Avenu want to buy two tickets for away Cexteat Ovrice Ove Hurry (ringing Jor Central Office) Theater: 1 tonight right Operator Me. Haven, Operator Mr, Hurry. it. Mey? Fifth Avenne Theater, What about it? LT want to be connected with Why Operator. didn’t you say. so Voice.—Did you call? Mr, Hurry. Yes, 1 want to— Voice, You're at the Astor House, you? Mr. Hurry , Grand Duke's, You better keep 4 hey'll spot you. ain't Voice. and Dal kicking. Mr, Hurry.—What sucker? Voice, —The fellow we scooped the thousand out of last night. He's put the police on your track, and— Mr, Hurey. Voic ly. Mr. Hurry.—W\ » you? —At the faro-hank. Y. ) ain't you? Didn't you just conncet with us? Mr. Muren. able country n Avenue The Voice. Oh, go soak your head In. Hunny, slightly disconcerted, vings up CENTRAL OFFICE OPERATOR again.) Well? Mr. Hurry.—1 asked you to connect m with the Fith Avenue Theater. Operator, —So | did. Mr, Hurry.—You didn't. hank, Operator.—Sure enough, 1 did make a mis- take. It’s all right now, Voice.—Is that you, Mr. Hurry (loquitor). And how d George? (7 Carrie, way from the The sucker's Who the deuce are you? Voie 1 called for the Filth er Opevato rye’ Why, it's a lady’ she know my lephones.) And, voice, Voice. It was a faro- | ne was | THE JUDGE. don't come down to the house right away I Here mama two hours wa | will n in, and Ihave been dressed for ing for you, What does ail you? | Mr, Hurry, -Who're you? Voice, —You don't know, do you? | vile deceiver. You don't know promised wife. 1 live at | avenue, do Tt Mr, Hurry. yon, I don't believe want to tel at speak to you Oh! you your own don't — Finh r miss, 1 don't know Jam your George. 1 phone to the TE want to buy Voice.—Oh, Ma. Hurry ieaits for a while, then signals CeyTiaL OFrice OPERATOR, } Hey, did you call? Mr, Hurry. Wh: 10Us: Operator, Operator, Mr, Haren. ‘on want now? have connected me wron: in, TE want the Fith Avenue The- ater instead of th (after a panse).—Yowre right It's fixed for you this tin s that you, old man’ Hurry. W appre: I want— Operator sob did, Ww mili Vo re you Wwtally tie Rica is. Well, shi loing better, takes her ind I think we'll run. Hughe ay the Phacton colt is cou ‘To knew how af course, — Mr. Hurry.—What ave Are you the Filth Avenue tmuch, Hn Ned ain't you ? vc talking about ¢ 3 your'd Where are ‘Tart istake, Hern Club, So long. Guess the uperator made a Mn. Operator. —Mallo, What now ? Mr. Hurry.—As 1 ha | time: pfore, 1 want to Avenue Theater. Club last ? Operator meekly signals Central office are you at it again’ » requested thre lephone to the Fith You placed at the Turf You said Turf Club ? Mr. Hurry.—I1 didn't. Operator.—1 guess you're full, and don't know who you do want to talk to, But Fl [fix you with the Fitth Avenue Theater. Murry.—1 want two tickets for to. —Ve don't sell dickets, but I vas got at you dakes me for? Theater. , You vos. vhron Shacobs, Mr, Voiee, cob, de you v Come down and mistit suit aut went’ Arthur which I Tvos got Ma. HURRY listens no longer, bul calls for Central Office, as usual.) Operator, —Iws Mr. Hurry.—Yes. Operator.—Who do you want to chin to now? . I suppose ? | you we Mr. Murry. Operato ara Mr pla store, Filth Avenue Theat —Good Lord, ['ve placed you in ation with them! Vot once Mu me in « ‘The last time you mununication with a clothing Operator. —Mang. it, the cirenit be Vil try it again. must broken somewhere, Hello! Hurry.—Wello, Voter and Duke’ Mr. Marra YX ice, =Oh, you old Voice Mr. 17 reprobate, 1 thought Lsuy big as a barrel, and fete up tl gota head on you your eyes are as red alraid to come he didn't it? you've are did i and to bed and s and Fil send John up with your nightshirt. Nice husband you M Th That wine sup Now you needn't Pie, G ure, ain't you? Hurry.— Indeed, 1 ain't your husband. re's at mistake Who are your Hurry.—Mr. Murry. Mr Voice. —Why dlivin't y« fool? Ouce more Mit MERRY telephones for Cen tral Ofer, y so belore, you Operator.—Are you at that — telephone in’ Me. Haren. Operator. —Fitth Avenue Theater, of cou Mr. Muery.—Y When 1 and feeble raysheaded, TE believ be able to telephone it Yes. wrong, uy You got an as usual You be bhinke unked old theater, Voice, —Hello? Mr, Marry.—MWello. Voice. You're Mortou House, ain't yout Mr. Hurry.—No, sir. Vin Duke's Hotel, You're the Fith Aven Voier, —Nixy Tie Jenet ofties itor, ‘The first pause 1s broken the inside form has all pied, and th all the paste out of the ean, so we ean't ps the wrapy 1 want the Morton Haus Mr, Hwry.—My boy, you will probably be Operator Now talk to uni Fin the print F thought ye stone was our e ings | plied to.) Mr, Hurry (angrily).—W 1 ain't in connection with the Fith Aveuu ter, young man, Vl come down and brea your neck. Voice.—Please, Mr, Harry.—Who Voice. —Please, s I can't conne Mr. Hurry . Lain’t the operator, re . im only the office boy. hody to anywhere. y.—Where's the operator one to supper, Won't for two hours sir. In : but PIL tell him you want to telephone tie Filth Avenue Theater when he comes back.