Judge — November 26, 1881 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OLD SHOES. How much a man is like old shoes For instance, both a sole may I Both have been tanned, both are By cobblers. eft and right Both neal a mate to be complete, And Loth are made to go on feet. They both need healing; oft are sold, And both in time turn all to mold. With shoes the last is firat; with mew The first shall be the last, and when The shoes wear out the} When men wear ont they're men dea They both are trod upon, and both Will tread on others, nothing loath. Both have their ties, and both incline, When polished, in the world to shir And both peg out To be a man or be his Je tight Both g and would you The Fitzjoys’ New Stove. Tue domestic economy of the Fitzjoy seemed to demand a new cooking range. cook-stove which had for years stood upon three legs and one piece of brick beneath the mantelpiece had become decrepit. The top was warped until its swelling undulations re- sembled the outlines of a smoothly running sea; y individual of them, were bad- ly cracked; at least seven grates and three linings had been burned out and the heat had thinned the castings perceptibly. Mrs. Fitz- joy had declared over and over again that the oven was wholly unreliable. One day it would burn on the top, the next it would ‘ch the undererusts, the third it would at- solutely refuse to bake at all. Plainly the old stove, which had been the pride of the earlier housekeeping days, had served its time. Mr. Fitzjoy suggested that now, before Thanksgiv- ing day, when its wealth of cooking was at hand, was the proper t nd prom. ised half a day from business to make the tour of the stove stores and buy the best there was in the market. The town was taken. To the astonishment of the Fitzjoys every stovealealer in town had the best stove in the market Such an accumulation of superlative cooking ranges had heretofore scemed impossible to them, but the facts were all on the side of the stovedlealers, Each and every separate range was the best. Did it have a hot-air closet underneath the oven? A convenience that was anceessity in every wellregulated family. The dinner could not only be kept warm in it for the belated bu: biscuits being baked in hot-air closets were numerous. Was there no hot-air closet be. neath the oven? Such things were going out of style altogether; besides, science distinctly teaches that heat rises, and consequently coulil not descend to any hot-air closet. To tell the truth, most of the housekeepers who had bought ranges with hot-air closet attachments had been obliged to use such closets as refrig- erators, or as mere receptacles for flat irons, stovedifters and pokers. Now science having settled the fact that heat rises, the shelf attachment to the pipe was the proper thing, as anybody with half an eye could see. The proper place to keep cold dinners warm was on the shelf, above the the covers, eve eC ne to invest ness man, but instances of | stove, rather than in the closet underneath it. Was the fire-box small? E thus assured beyond box large? Thorough and rapid heating of the oven was assured, enabling the cooking to be dispatehed wi r facility, thus proving conclusive © tire-box was the best and the chea pable of b conomy in fuel was a doubt. ‘as the oven ca- six pies on the top shelf, turkey, three loaves of bread, a pot of beans, anda pudding below? dust the stove for a Thanksgiving or Christmas party. Was it only capable of doing half that amount at | once? There was less space to heat, the cook- | ing must necessarily be more unitorm, Was | the draf-damper of good size? The fire could be kindled in no time, or less, and the break- fast coilve boiling before Mrs. Fitz | her hair out of the crimping pins. draughtalamper very small? | vantage. Was the ‘An obvious ad- Instead of the fuel skipping up the chimney in blaze and smoke, in a vain endeav- or to warm up all outdoors, it would burn gently, and thé fire would keep from one year's end to another. In fact, what was a defect (in one stove was the most effective feature in another, and the Fitzjoys were in a worse muddle all their stove-shopping tour than | they were before they begun it. Finally, ina moment of desperation, Mr. Fitzjoy suggested that they draw lots between a dozen of the best patterns they had seen, and they did so, | the lot falling on the very first stove they had examined. It was put up in their kitchen and worked to a charm; but every neighbor with- in two blocks was positively sure that it wasn't half so good a stove a3 the one they them- selves were using.—New Haven Register. Was the fire- | MEDITATIONS. Tue other evening a Brush street policeman heard a whistle shrilly blown and a female voice calling for help, and after a short run he reached the scene of commotion, A man was getting up and falling down again on the door steps, and a female had her head out of an upper window and seemed to be half seared to death. What's the ma asked the officer, “A man has been kicking on the she answered. “This man here?” “Yes. [thought he'd tear the whole house down.” ‘The officer reached out for the man, and made two discoveries at once, It was the woman's husband, and he was fighting drunk. “Why, this man wouldn't hurt you —he’s your husband,” he called out. “Is that so? Charles, is that you?” “Bet yer life's smec,” mumbled Charles. “Then you really must exeuse me, Mr. Officer. ¥ we have only been married six week: do not readily recognize him yet. I'll be down in a minute, darling." —Detroit Free Press, door,” e my wife,” young Mr, Osculus, who s been married only six wer ks, was saying, Ilove my wit as no other u.andoes.” And then the rippling smile of approbation went around the company and died away in whis- pering ziggles in shadowed window seats and dimly lighted corners, and the young m; that he had failed to make himself under: just as he wished to be.—Burlington Hawk eye. Tue JupGE solemnly inquires: When, in the name of Gaud, will the decoration mania cease.