Judge — November 12, 1881 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO ARMS!" BY YRANK BRLLEW® vreigh cablages’ Alas! the newsis plain n cablaages have ight thousan 2 x To aunt their Gabby faces In From every ¢ The native-bo ‘Our proudest With bread and et M Quee ‘Shook My natie Up. up cabtage heal ur banner we'll untutt sreugn face their cabtages we'll hurt: cheese and barn tke thunde fing. White with huge sides of teef and pork we'll make the welkin t's intense, pbors or ota with weal,and corn, aml wheat, Jnould outraged pat rwtielm these insol Jur sweet revenge In cash of drafs on foreign Orme, Lyon, MD. (+4, 2. IM— among, the steamer Leip here yesterday from Revere, 6 RD hele of caldenge, ‘Tue Jupee and one of lus as pened in at Parker's one ni it last weel while waiting at a table to be serve | | | | A LIAR ABROAD. fellow entered the room with a hance \ vertising culars, and 1 carefully, as though he peenas upon them, to hand the room one of them, He was a valuable man for the busi his solemn and imp rwise would have tossed th papers away read them carefully. He approached the table where his Honor d, with solemn deliberation, gave o1 n slowly and serving ch person in was sub ive manner people who « sal, to him and one to the associate, iy L1o be an advertising circular of a ¢ rated (in advertising columns) hair re- storer ‘The associate glanced at it, and then look: ed up at the distributor. “Old man, you are probably very poor,” said hi “Yes, sir, Leertainly am,” “You must b found in this disreputable busivess.” sas the sad reply. would never be or you “ Disreputable!” exclaimed the man, “Well, perhaps L might qualify the term a trifle, but do you know the nature of this re storer—this invigorator—that you advertising to an unsuspecting world 2” “Why, no, only Fhear tell that it is very oo re thus Yes, I should say it Bat I insist upon it that the maker of it is perpetra wrong in taking advantage of 5 ting a cruel ir poverty and employing you to spread abroad the ad- tiscment. And he most likely ed you on unt of your respectable appearance. It is too bad,” ded, turni By this time the bill distributor had become so much interested that he wanted to know more. He said he had a family to support, but that he also had a character to maintain, and if he was doing wrong, he wanted to | know it, away, uN TH E* JUDGE. “Well, old an bout this matter t mind tellin that you began the gz you of the eff ious “TL de sociate, application toa bald-headed friend of mine, that was—by the name of Manson, In less than a week after the first application his h: began to “Ab! ub exela t goes to show how good. it i wed the old man, smiling. Wait one moment, please. He ain and again, plied it of two nd at the expiratic rks he was forced to go to the barber's to n for Buffalo Bill. In- deed, nobody knew him with his immense ‘op of t Well, he took a seatin the barber's chair, and told him to give ita close eut, a fashionable clip. That hair-gatherer began on one side and cut it down to the required shortness, and then went for the other side; but, would you believe it, by the time he had got it razored down to the proper focus, the other side had grown to such an extent that it re- quired catting again; and yet, mark the effect of the villainous compound you are advertis- ing! by the time he had finished it, the other side wanted cutting again.” “Gracious m fled. “To make a long story bob-tailed, that bar- ber kept on cutting that phenomenal growth of hair during the remainder of the day, and when he finally got tired end disgusted and ordered the customer out ef his shop, he found him dead. F iis vitaity had all one to hair, Now, my dear sir, judd Dusiness in helping to | prevent being mist nd he be; an to feel lonesome, exclaimed the man, horri- whether or not you are rous The man nostrum,” the associate add looked at him an instant, and hering up his cireulars he strode from without a word, but he evidently lied. + plac thought the associat A SHABBY SIREN. It was a + an observant man, a shrewd political economist, a long-headed son of the “Ould Dart,” and, in the main, a downright good fellow, who, more than a hall dozen cycles ago, got the divine afllatus by its sealp lock. The result of * the subsequent proceedings” was a poem of twenty-four lines and considerable prophecy, which found its way into millions of School Readers and un- numbered volumes of Elegant Extracts. The f this metrical favorite boldly ripe schol rs kneW was as certain as frost in Nova cotia: Westward the course of empire takes its way.” Well, rather, George Berkeley, and with a constancy in these latter days that throws the narrative of Damon and Pythias into the dim- mest shade of comparison. This is the a of bonanzas. Every other home in the land of big prospectus | small realizations is the thorny abiding pla | of some yearnful spirit. ‘The local papers of | Coto Nevada and Arizona breathe opu- | lence in every issue. ‘Temptation rides rough shod over prudence. Wealth, suddenly ac- quired, has become a part of our national wstheticism, fairly eclipsed by the kna So we turn our cage By thousands and tens of thor cast our lives, our fortunes up nd they, the lives, fortunes, and ambitions aforesaid, usually re- main just where restless inelination pitehes them, if this Honorable Cou itself and the situation, THe JUpce has looked over a v human disappointment. He has seen in the precocious West heartaches and failures number joyous fruitions in the ru hundred to six. He has known respectable members of society, those who have never sat on packed juries or freshly-painted cellar doors, to leave the teeming marts of trade, fond wives, accumulating families, interested creditors and a steady indulgence in gin and r, and rush madly into the arms of that seurvy fellow known as Will O'Thewisp; he, whose anomalous habitation is f bleached skeletoi Silver has become a personification of al- lurement. ‘This saucy jade presumes to be ore-acular, and men, whose sanity was hove reproach, now go crazy over lodes which the tion, Far better to ¢ spile and yield to 1 seek that which is ne art money-carning. is of mone 1 noses to nbitions into mining; is cognizant of t field of ite of six need with eres will never cart ein imagina- te the steamalriven seessity than to blindly bout as casy to eluteh as the slippery Glacier des Hossons, ve received nntaining a po Vennor'’s Almanac for tof the great pr tor and three other owls. much stock in his Alman: We never took but must admit that more and a greater variety of weather for twenty-five cents than any other publication of the kind. The United States News Comp: Chambers street, ew York, are the s« contains Query : a German and family When and his yout for pr taking up the whole sidewalk, refusing to ac- celerate or to break ranks, how can an Ame! i utleman and lady get past them? Go out into the street, or walk. wife Sun ‘oss over to the other ScRNE IN 4 Tic Srartoy, er OVrice at AN ELevaren Ratinoap Contricance of an elevated slare to get h tinning his work, But won't the directors ent that