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Mad #399 cover
Cover: Mark Fredrickson

Mad #399

Nov 2000 · EC · 2.99 USD; 4.50 CAD
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In "$-Men," Senator Smelly stirs fear with a crusade against mutants, while Vasoline, fresh from a bar fight, flees with Rogaine—only to be captured and recruited by the enigmatic Professor $. Written by Desmond Devlin and illustrated by Angelo Torres, this wild, satirical tale follows the duo as they navigate a world where even fanboys are deemed more terrifying than mutants. The cover by Mark Fredrickson captures the issue’s chaotic energy, all set in the surreal, high-stakes universe of Mad #399.

Contains 14 stories
$-Men
8 pp · Humor, Satire-Parody, Superhero
Patrick Stewart [as Professor $]James Marsden [as Cyclod]Halle Berry [as Deform]Hugh Jackman [as Vasoline]Anna Paquin [as Rogaine]Famke Jannsen [as Jean Greypoupon]Ian McKellen [as Magnesia]Tyler Mane [as Slobbergoof]Ray Park [as Load]Rebecca Romijn-Stamos [as Physique]Bruce Davison [as Senator Jefferson Smelly]Ted Kennedy (cameo)Batman (cameo)

In a satirical twist on superhero tropes, Senator Smelly stokes fear over mutants while Vasoline, after a lucky bar fight, flees with Rogaine—only to be captured and recruited by the eccentric Professor $. As Rogaine grapples with her new role, she aids Magnesia during a chaotic battle at the Statue of Liberty, where her fate hangs in the balance. With Professor $ and Magnesia united in their belief that Fanboys are the true enemy, the line between parody and panic blurs.

Can Your Parents’ Marriage Be Saved?
3 pp · Humor
The Rescue
1 pp · Humor
Monroe and… the Baby
4 pp · Humor
Updated Board Games for the 21st Century
2 pp
Welcome to Suburbia
2 pp
Back to the Suture
1 pp · Humor
Why Cybergeeks Make Lousy Boyfriends
3 pp · Humor
Gadgets to Really Make Home Theater Like Going to the Movies!
2 pp
The Presidential Candidate’s Choose Your Own Adventure Book
6 pp · Humor
Using DNA Testing for Questions We Really Want Answered
2 pp · Humor, Satire-Parody
A Mad Look at Elections
3 pp · Humor
Totally Repulsed Live
5 pp · Satire-Parody
Carsick DorkyKing Kong (cameo)DMVBritney SpheresChristina Agita‘N StyncJeremy Duncan (cameo)Monroe (cameo)
Mad’s Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds
1 pp
Dennis Miller

ComicBooks.com Value

Our Model is In Beta
Raw (NM) $10
CGC 9.4 · 1 in census $30*
CGC 9.2 none in existence
CGC 9.0 none in existence
CGC 8.5 none in existence
CGC 8.0 none in existence
CGC 7.5 none in existence
Show all 8 grades
CGC 7.0 none in existence
CGC 6.5 · 1 in census $30*
* estimate — limited direct-sales data at this grade
Our model’s value — refined as new sales data arrives · CGC census counts shown where available

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Full credits

artist, inker Angelo Torres
cover pencils, inks Mark Fredrickson

Reprints

Reprinted in Mad About Super Heroes #[1] (2002), Mad about Super Heroes #[nn] (2006), Mad #23 (2022)

Key issues in Mad

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