Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, December 1924 · page 42 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #67 — page 42: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous poem by Allen "Chuck" Conner, published in *Whiz Bang*, a satirical magazine. The editor (Captain Billy) frames it as gently mocking Conner's farming abilities while praising his poetry. The poem uses repetitive structure to humorously describe farm life's realities through named characters—Maggie, Olaf, and Gus the bull—suggesting these are real farmworkers or animals. The humor comes from the contradictions: milk being "whiter" but literally diluted with water; livestock being "politer" than usual; and the general chaos of farm labor (bulls throwing, roosters crowing, constant hoeing). The final stanza's reveal—that hard farm work is where "a man finds work"—suggests the satire's point: romanticized pastoral poetry ignores farming's grueling reality. The illustration of a horse-drawn wagon loaded with hay reinforces this theme of actual agricultural labor, not poetic fantasy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
[Farmyard Fun and Filosophy] Out Where the Farm Commences (If Allen "Chuck" Conner, the author of this charming pastoral dedicated to Whiz Bang Farm, is as good a farmer as he is a poet, there's hope for Gus and Olaf who have as bad a case of poetic itch as this old hayseed ever saw.—CAPTAIN BILLY.) OUT where the pitch-forks are a little longer; Out where the barn-yard begins to get stronger; That's where the farm commences. Out where the duties are not much lighter; Out where the milk is a trifle whiter; Out where the livestock are a wee bit politer; That's where the farm commences. Out where Maggie is a little bluer; Out where Olaf shovels compost; That's where the farm commences. Out where the old red rooster is crowing; Out where water into the milk is flowing; Out where Gus the bull is throwing; That's where the farm commences. Out where the robins daily are mating; Out where the hoes are always waiting; That's where the farm commences. Where there's more of throwing and less of wheeling; Where there's more spud sowing and less of peeling; And a man finds work, now this is revealing. That that's where the farm commences. [37]