Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 56 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 56: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical gossip column from *Whiz-Bang* magazine (February 1, 1924) about Hollywood scandal. An unnamed Eastern filmmaker, visiting the Western film industry, was caught at a female film star's home. When a gunshot was fired in her drawing room—likely by an angry party—he fled at extraordinary speed to the railroad station without saying goodbye. The joke mocks both his cowardice and the scandalous affair: he ran so fast he set unofficial sprint records, suggesting either jealous violence or a setup to humiliate him publicly. The second item jokes that golfer Gene Sarazen's engagement to actress Pauline Garon is positive because he's a "real champion"—implying that if he neglects her for golf (the "nineteenth hole" being bar-room drinking), at least he's accomplished elsewhere, unlike mediocre golfers. Both items exemplify 1920s Hollywood gossip culture and sexual scandal.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Farmyard Fun and Filosophy 51 Easterner, Bullet Sped, Shatters Sprint Records New York City, February 1, 1924. A WELL-known Eastern film man, who is a pretty good sprinter, did not wait for spring training to prove his prowess to the folk of the western flicker colony, accord- ing to word along Broadway. Although there were no official clockers on the job and the record probably will not be allowed by the A. A. U., it is said that he covered the distance from the back door of a fair film favorite's home to the railroad terminal in nothing flat. Speed? He flitted through space like a lightning flash or a radio wave. And why all the hurry? Well, a bullet fired in the star's drawing room was the signal for that sprinter to unbend the hinges of his knee —and the terminal suggested safe distances to which he could travel. That, maybe, is why he didn't even stop to say farewell. * * * Gene Sarazen, the golf champ, is reported engaged to Pauline Garon. Maybe golf widowhood isn't so bad when the dear departed is a real champion and not one of these nineteenth hole guzzlers.