Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 51 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 51: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two humorous poems typical of this satirical magazine's content. The first poem, "Send This Poem to Friend Wife," is sentimental verse about gratitude for companionship—seemingly genuine but positioned as something a husband should send to his wife. It's likely presented as earnest material that readers could actually use. The second poem, "The Way of a Maid with a Man," is satirical commentary on women's changing expectations across life stages. It mocks female materialism and romantic idealism at seventeen (demanding wealth, handsomeness, luxury), then contrasts this with supposedly more pragmatic thirty-year-old values emphasizing "character." The punchline—that by forty she'll "take ANYTHING IN TROUSERS"—delivers crude satire suggesting aging, unmarried women lower standards drastically, reducing romantic expectations to mere male presence. The humor targets both youthful female vanity and the desperation of aging single women, reflecting era attitudes about marriage and aging.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
46 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Send This Poem to Friend Wife When the evenin' shades is fallin' At the closing of the day, An' I'm jest settin round A passin' of the time away, There's a thought that comes to cheer me If I'm feelin' kind of blue— Sort o' little prayer o' gratitude, Fer crossin' paths with you. So I'm sendin' you this letter Jest because I want to say That I'm glad the Fates arranged it So that you should pass this way; Jest to hear your voice an' you Made my sky a shade more blue; An' I'm jest a bit more happy Since a-crossin' paths with you. * * * The Way of a Maid with a Man “He must be tall, dark and handsome,” Says the maid of seventeen, “With the manners of a courtier— And must treat me like a Queen. He must have at LEAST a million, ’Cause if he wants ME for bride, I want silks and satins—diamonds, And in limousines must ride.” But when seventeen is thirty And is yet unspoken for She’s quite apt to change her ’pinion, She can “do without a car.” She’ll “cut out that tall, dark, handsome stuff And manners?—That’s for swells, For it isn’t size or LOOKS that count, It’s CHARACTER that tells.” Yes, at thirty things are diff’rent Than they were at seventeen, For “a man’s a man for a’ that” Be he tall, short, fat or lean. All she wants at thirty’s CHARACTER, At seventeen, ROMANCE— Yes, and by the time she’s FORTY, She’ll “take ANYTHING IN TROUSERS.”