Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1924 · page 25 of 71
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #57 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a gossip column satirizing Hollywood figures and film industry practices circa the silent era. **Key references:** - **Ruth** (likely actress Ruth Roland): Gossip about her real estate dealings with a divorced partner and rumored marriage to an Eastern millionaire—satirizing Hollywood's mercenary social climbing. - **Bill Hart Junior**: A child who allegedly runs an apartment building by demanding silence from 7 PM to 9 AM, mocking the spoiled behavior of celebrities' children. - **Charlie Chaplin**: The satire mocks his upcoming frozen-custard themed film. The joke suggests using naturally-frozen tears instead of glycerine tears—absurdist humor about film tricks and production challenges in cold weather filming. - **Charles Ray**: His casting in *The Courtship of Miles Standish* is criticized; audiences supposedly won't take him seriously because of his previous "Battling Kid" five-reel shorts. The column traffics in mild celebrity scandal, production gossip, and industry in-jokes typical of fan magazines of the period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Farmyard Fun and Filosophy 23 envelopes to purchase the Wilshire apartment house. Ruth, be it known, is in the real estate business with a divorced husband. That's a situation! And Ruth, be it rumored, is to add to her snug fortune by marrying an Eastern millionaire. * * * Janitors may be bosses of most apartment houses, but there is one in which a little child is the works. That's the one in which Bill Hart Junior holds forth. From 7:00 P. M. to 9:00 A. M. Bill Junior craves quiet; and indeed he insists upon it so strenuously when he doesn't get it, that the manager of the establishment puts the shusher on anybody who makes any unseemly noises. * * * CHARLIE CHAPLIN, who used to deal gen-erously in soft custard, is about to spring some of the frozen stuff. One of his forth-coming pictures calls for ice and snow and sub-zero weather. Great idea—provided the picture doesn't turn into slush. Chaplin is a great one to introduce innova-tions in the movies; and here is a chance for one. When the heroine has to turn on the weeps, he can dispense with the glycerine tears—just set her outdoors until her tear ducts freeze. * * * Charles Ray will look all right as John Alden in the late production of THE COURTSHIP OF MILES STANDISH providing the audience can forget him as they saw him in some of those "Battling Kid" five-reelers he used to put out.