Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1923 · page 42 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #44 — page 42: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains no cartoon imagery—it's purely text: a collection of aphorisms and satirical one-liners from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang*, a popular American humor magazine (circa 1920s). The jokes target conventional wisdom and social hypocrisy through cynical reversals. Examples include jibes at marriage ("age and wedlock tame man and beast"), women's nature ("born to be widows," keeping "an eye out for another one"), and human folly (misers with shrunken hearts, tacks causing trouble like "human imitators"). One quip references "Gus," apparently a recurring character dispensing ironic advice. The tone is irreverent working-class humor—mocking pretense, exposing contradictions in romantic ideals, and offering blunt practical wisdom. The aphorisms assume a male perspective viewing women with amused skepticism typical of the era's popular satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
42 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Age and wedlock tame man and beast. * * * The bashful pig makes poor pork. * * * A starved belly has no ears. * * * Some women are born to be widows—it is their vocation. * * * A grave digger digs but a gold digger assays. * * * A miser is a man who possesses a heart that would make a hickory nut look like a football. * * * Gus says health is a great thing to have, especially when a fellow's sick. * * * A tack points heavenward when it means the most mis- chief. It has many human imitators. * * * Love conquers all things except poverty, toothache and a real thirst. * * * Waste neither time nor talent in making a square object fit a round hole. * * * The man who hesitates is lost and so is the woman who doesn't. * * * Shoot straight in life, as you would in forest, field or target range. Your aim is not enough—hit, that's what counts. * * * No woman feels so securely in love with one man that she does not keep an eye out for another one.