Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #44 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

30 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Buried Alive (From the Herkimer (N. Y.) Citizen) A tough customer who had imbibed too freely, lost his balance and fell head first into an open hole in the ground. When rescued he thought he had been interred alive and was in a very nervous condition. * * * "Try and Get It" Into a saloon one day Did that great bard Shakespeare stray. Then, what to his great surprise, On the floor to greet his eyes Lay a giant golden piece; Down went Shakespeare to his knees. But to quote the poet Poe, "It vas wet, und nodding mo'." It was then that Shakespeare, I am told, Said, "All that glitters is not gold." * * * Gone But Not Forgotten (From the Calgary Eye-opener) The sad death is reported of Benjamin F. Blink, a promising young business man. He had cut his throat from ear to ear. The late Mr. Blink was an expert pool player and is married but looked remarkably cheerful up to the time of his death. Much sympathy is expressed for Mr. Blink and all the little Blinks whom this tragedy has put on the Blink. Not lost, but gone before. * * * Stud Poker on the Farm "Well, son, your father has raised you." "Yes, and I'm going to raise him right back." * * * When she is out driving she likes to have me help her change a tire, but when she's up dressing she doesn't seem to want me to help her change attire. * * * Wanted—Boarders and Roomers (Flint Sunday Journal) Wanted—Young married couple to room and board. Prefer one whose husband works nights. Phone 4552-W. 1019 N. Stevenson. * * * Chorus girls should not be vaccinated in the wings.