Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1922 · page 64 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #35 — page 64: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical humor article with no accompanying cartoon. It mocks widows through exaggerated stereotypes common to 1920s-era humor. The piece presents widows as predatory, emotionally manipulative, and desperate to remarry—particularly those with children, portrayed as most dangerous. It jokes that any man marrying a widow faces a losing battle, as he'll be constantly compared unfavorably to her deceased first husband. The term "grass-widow" (a woman separated or divorced from her husband, not widowed) receives wordplay commentary: she "makes hay while the sun shines" (pursues opportunities opportunistically) and isn't truly "green" (innocent) despite the name. The brief editorial note requests readers stop praising "Pedro" (likely a recurring character or reference), claiming it makes the animal "vain"—a throwaway absurdist joke typical of the magazine's tone.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 63 Widows A well-known novelist once said that a little widow is a dangerous thing; but some men are so brave that they will face danger with a smile. The average widow is of a clinging dis- position, and will readily attach herself to any- thing. Some man-haters say that a widow is a lucky woman; but by rich bachelors it is con- sidered unlucky to meet a widow by moonlight. There are some widows who have children; these are the most predatory of the lot. No- body is safe when this type of widow is about, for in her anxiety to give her offspring a sec- ond father she will even consent to sacrifice herself on the altar of matrimony a second time. Any man who marries a widow does so at his own risk, for he will soon discover that there was only one perfect man in the world, and that was his wife's first husband. Miss Julia James is our authority for the statement that “when a widow kisses you want some more,” but this equally applies to grass-widows. A grass-widow is so called from her well-known habit of making hay while the sun shines. She is by no means so green as the name would imply. * * * TO ALL READERS: Olaf requests that Whiz Bang fans desist in wishing Pedro a bully success. It's making the poor maligned animal feel too vain, he says.