Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1922 · page 61 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #35 — page 61: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from a satirical magazine contains several brief jokes and one substantive political commentary about **Prohibition**. The opening section attributes a quote to Abraham Lincoln opposing Prohibition as counterproductive to temperance—arguing it's governmental overreach that contradicts founding principles. (Whether Lincoln actually said this is unclear; the quote appears designed to lend authority to anti-Prohibition sentiment.) The remaining content consists of light humor typical of 1920s magazines: - **"They'll Do It Every Time"**: A joke about a girlfriend interested only in eating - **Teacher/Johnny exchange**: Wordplay on "strong nouns" (onions, garlic, limburger are foods with strong odors) - **"Pole Cats"**: A pun-based poem where skunks ("pole cats") compare car exhaust unfavorably to their mother's smell - **Cantaloupe joke**: A pun ("can't a lope"/can't elope) The Prohibition quote suggests *Whiz Bang* positioned itself as skeptical of alcohol bans—a common stance in 1920s-30s satirical publications critical of government regulation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
60 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Abraham Lincoln Once Remarked That “Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason, in that it at- tempts to control a man’s appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A pro- hibition law strikes a blow at the very principles on which our government was founded.” * * * They’ll Do It Every Time I’ve got a sweetheart, She sure is sweet, All she can say is, “When do we eat?” * * * The reason I like my stenographer is be- cause I can dictate to her. * * * Teacher—Now, Johnny, name three strong nouns. Johnny—Onions, garlic, and limburger. * * * Pole Cats Sat On Their Seat Two little pole cats sat on their seat When a motor car passed by; Which left an incense far from sweet, And a tear drop in one’s eye. Said one little cat to the other, “Why do you weep and quake?” Said the other little cat to his brother, “It’s not like mother used to make.” —M. L. M. * * * You cantaloupe here! This isn’t a mush- room. * * * The present-day fashions barely attract attention.