Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1922 · page 55 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #35 — page 55: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is a satirical gossip column from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* (a 1920s humor magazine), not a cartoon. It mocks celebrity romance and Prohibition-era speakeasies. The text references famous silent-film stars of the era—Jack Dempsey (boxer), Bebe Daniels, Peggy Joyce, and Harold Lloyd—satirizing their romantic entanglements. The column's opening joke suggests that wealth and celebrity status (not looks) attract romantic attention. The "Green Mill" section appears to reference a Chicago nightclub operating during Prohibition (roughly 1920-1933). The satirical point is transparent: the restaurant claims no visible alcohol ("nary a bottle projects itself across the horizon"), but the author winks that patrons clearly obtain drinks anyway—the "something besides H₂O" phrase suggests bootleg liquor is being served covertly at nearby tables. The humor mocks the absurdity of Prohibition's pretense: establishments openly flouting the law while maintaining a thin veneer of legality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
54 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang agement, but when that little impediment is out of the way, you're able to order your cock-tails and to have champagne with your dinner. A high class clientele, including several picture stars, is patronizing the place. * * * YOU don't have to be handsome! Jack Dempsey is said to have engaged the seri-ous attention of Yancsi Dolly, the dancer. Bebe Daniels is interested, too, and Peggy Joyce sent desperate wires for spiritual guidance to Jack when one of her lovers re-cently killed himself in Paris. No, one doesn't have to be handsome! * * * HAROLD LLOYD and Bebe Daniels seem to be "keeping company" during many evenings at the Green Mill. Larry Semon and Lucille Carlisle patronize the same eating emporium. As you pass the wheel of this great mill, and watch the gleaming paddles dip into the lazy mill stream and send a silvery spray on high, something besides the aroma of H. 2 O. reaches your nostrils. As familiar sights and sounds link them-selves unconsciously in our minds, you expect to see tables covered in bottles when you enter the huge dining room, but nary a bottle pro-jects itself across the horizon. However—how-ever, not long after you have ordered, someone at the next table from yours (the tables at Green Mill are very near together), gives your