Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, July 1922 · page 14 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #35 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine contains several jokes targeting 1920s social attitudes: **"Sober" Poem**: Mocks hangover symptoms—empty pockets, wilted collar, dented hat—as signs of a night's drinking. The humor depends on readers recognizing these as markers of working-class excess. **"Kipling's Flapper"**: Parodies Rudyard Kipling's famous poem "Mandalay" (about exotic colonial India), replacing romantic nostalgia with complaints about modern women—bobbed hair, short skirts, rolled socks, and bold behavior. The speaker prefers "heathen" colonial subjects to liberated young women. This satirizes both Kipling's romanticism and conservative backlash against 1920s female independence. **Henry Ford Reference**: Criticizes peace negotiations in Genoa (likely 1922) as futile when American industrial production (Ford's factories) continues unchecked—suggesting capitalism drives conflict regardless of diplomacy. **Grocer Joke**: Exposes merchant fraud—watering rum, dampening tobacco, sanding sugar to increase weight—then mocks the grocer's hypocrisy by attending church. Dark satire on commercial dishonesty and religious hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 13 PERMIT us to submit the following as a sort of sequel to the little explosion published in the May number which went something like this: “When your heels hit hard and your head feels queer And your thoughts rise up like foam on beer,” etc. “When you wake up in the morning and you feel all in, You feel in your pockets and they’re void of tin; Your collar is wilted and your hat caved in, And you say to yourself ‘What a damphool I’ve been,’ Then you’re sober my boy, you’re sober.” * * * Kipling’s Flapper Oo’s the bloomin’ Lizzie Kilted like a Scot? Gawd! hit makes me dizzy Just to see ’er fox trot: ’Air cut hoff, fice pinted Like a bloody clown; Boots as isn’t tidy, Socks as is rolled down; Bare, an’ bold, an’ brazen In ’er fapper way! Hi prefers the ’eathen Hout in Mandalay. * * * Why juggle for world peace in Genoa when Henry Ford’s factory is turning out a tin terrior every six seconds during the day. There is no peace. * * * “John,” said a Minnesota grocer, “Have you watered the rum, dampened the tobacco and sanded the sugar?” “Yes, sir!” “Then you may leave for church.”