Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, May 1922 · page 48 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #33 — page 48: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humorous pieces from an American satirical magazine: **"No Time to Quit"** is inspirational doggerel celebrating persistence through life's ups and downs—typical motivational verse for a working-class audience. **"The Old Time Runaway Train"** is a novelty folk song about a derailed locomotive, with repetitive comic verses about various characters caught in the chaos (a fireman, a newsboy, a porter named "Ebony Jones," a switchman). The humor relies on the absurdist repetition and the rhyming scheme. **"Diplomacy?"** is a brief joke playing on the double meaning of "made up"—the woman is applying cosmetics, and the man insults her by suggesting she's wearing too much makeup while refusing her reconciliation. It's mild, domestic humor about marital conflict. The page contains no political cartoons or identifiable caricatures—it's primarily text-based humor aimed at ordinary readers, reflecting early 20th-century popular entertainment sensibilities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
46 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang No Time to Quit There's a time to part and a time to meet, There's a time to sleep and a time to eat, There's a time to work and a time to play, There's a time to sing and a time to pray, There's a time that's glad and a time that's blue, There's a time to plan and a time to do, There's a time to grin and to show your grit— But there never was a time to quit. * * * The Old Time Runaway Train Slowed down by Nation Jones. A runaway train came down the track, And she flew, she flew, A runaway train came down the track, And she flew, she flew; A runaway train came down the track, She hit a freight and broke her back And she flew, flew, flew, flew, The son-of-a-gun she flew. The fireman he was shoveling coal, And she flew (continue the motion as above) And the coal ran into the fiery bowl, And she flew, etc., etc. The Newsie he was selling his gum, And she flew, etc. When a bum bought some and stole his rum, And she flew, etc. The porter's name was Ebony Jones, And she flew, etc. He was a highfaluter with a pair of bones And she flew, etc. The switchman he was turning the switch, And she flew, etc. The heavy old freight ran into the ditch, And she flew, etc. * * * Diplomacy? “Lets kiss and make up,” Said she in a huff: “I’ll kiss you,” said he, “But you’re made up enough.”