Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, May 1922 · page 26 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #33 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical anecdotes from an early 20th-century American humor magazine: 1. **The opening fragment** contrasts a poor Spanish laborer's contentment with American materialism—he refuses money yet appears happier than wealthy Americans. 2. **"There Was An Old Geezer"** is a humorous folk poem about tobacco hoarding and self-reliance, likely mocking Depression-era scarcity mentality. 3. **"Yiddish Salesmanship"** uses ethnic stereotyping common to the era, depicting Jewish merchants Cohen and his son Abie employing deceptive sales tactics. Cohen invents a lie about dying silkworms to justify high prices; Abie quickly learns the trick, absurdly claiming "tape worms" are dying out. The joke relies on period anti-Semitic tropes portraying Jews as dishonest traders, while also satirizing American consumerism and gullible customers.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
24 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang to an old fellow, bare-headed, bare-footed, hairy-chested and picturesquely robed in a ragged serape. He smiled, danced, sang and politely refused the money. The Spanish roust-abouts laughed and said he was crazy. Per-haps, but he seemed happier than many money-mad Americans I know. * * * There Was An Old Geezer There was an old geezer and he had a wooden leg, No tobacco could he borrow, no tobacco could he beg; But another old geezer was as cunning as a fox, And he always had tobacco in his old tobacco box. Said the first old geezer, “Will you give me a chew?” Said the second old geezer, “No, darn me if I do; Go save up your money, go save up your rocks, And you’ll always have tobacco in your old tobacco box.” * * * Yiddish Salesmanship Cohen demonstrated Yiddish salesmanship to his son, Abie. Lady Customer—Three dollars for this silk? Why, I bought some last week for two dollars! Cohen—I know that, Lady, but the silk worms in the old country are dying out and the price of silk is going up. The lady bought the silk, and another cus-tomer came in to buy some tape. Abie was a quick learner. When she complained at the price of the tape, Abie replied: “I know that, Lady, but the tape worms in the old country are dying out, and the price of tape is going up.”