Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1922 · page 64 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #32 — page 64: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine contains three distinct pieces: **"Insurance Bull"** satirizes the false economy of avoiding insurance. A careful driver with an accident wins in court against his accuser but then pays $100 to his lawyer plus ongoing risk—defeating the purpose of his legal "victory." The satire targets overconfidence in litigation as a substitute for insurance protection. **"The Meat Boy's Love"** is a pun-heavy love poem using butcher/meat industry terminology ("sausage," "butcher," "liver," "ham-let," "cleaver") as romantic metaphors. It's lighthearted wordplay typical of the era's humor magazines. **Remaining items** include a brief observation about gender relations and a joke about "hives" (likely a skin condition) rhyming with "wives"—crude domestic humor suggesting marriage causes physical irritation. The page represents early 20th-century American satirical magazine content: practical social commentary mixed with puns and domestic humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 63 Insurance Bull We knew a man with an automobile, who said he was a careful driver— AND HE WAS! He said he would never injure anyone— AND HE DIDN'T! He said if anything happened, it would be the other fellow's fault— AND IT WAS! That didn't prevent the other fellow from demanding damages— AND HE DID! Our man said it was not his fault and that he would not pay anything— AND HE DIDN'T! The other chap said: “I'll sue you!”— AND HE DID! Our friend's lawyer said: “We can beat him in court”— AND THEY DID! Whereupon our friend said: “Ha, Ha, I win!”— AND THEN He paid his lawyer a fee of $100, plus expenses, and ran his car the rest of the year at his own risk. FOOLISH—WASN'T HE? * * * The Meat Boy's Love I never sausage eyes as thine, And if you'll butcher hand in mine, And liver round me ever day We'd seek some ham-let far away, We'd meat life's frown with life's caress, And cleaver road to happiness. * * * Men admire women for their beauty; respect them for their virtue; adore them for their intelligence and love them because they can't help it. * * * Hives rhyme with wives, In sound and letter match— If I had both of these at once, Ye Gods! I'd have to scratch.