Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1922 · page 62 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #32 — page 62: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous anecdote from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang*, a popular American satirical magazine known for bawdy jokes and social commentary. The joke satirizes both rural life and the emerging tension between automobiles and traditional society. A farmer stands in the road planning to shoot his old, worthless dog at the river. A motorist hits the dog—an accident. The motorist, recalling he once paid damages for killing livestock, nervously offers $5 compensation, assuming the dog was valuable. The punchline's humor lies in the farmer's good fortune: he gets paid $5 to have the unwanted dog killed for him, eliminating a task he was about to do anyway. The satire mocks rural pragmatism and opportunism, while also gently poking fun at city drivers' anxiety about liability and their misunderstanding of country life.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 61 Doggonit A farmer friend of mine was standing in the road with a gun tucked under his arm and an old dog at his side. He was directly in the path of a motor car. The chauffeur sounded his horn, but the dog did not move until he was struck. After that he did not move. The automobile stopped and one of the men got out and came forward. He had once paid a farmer $10.00 for killing a calf that belonged to another farmer. This time he was wary. “Was that your dog?” “Yes.” “You own him?” “Yes.” “Looks as if we’d killed him.” “Certainly looks so.” “Very valuable dog?” “Well, not so very.” “Will $5.00 satisfy you?” “Yes.” “Well, then, here you are.” He handed a $5.00 bill to the man with the gun, and said pleasantly, “I’m sorry to have broken up your hunt.” “I wasn’t going hunting,” replied the other as he pocketed the bill. “Not going hunting? Then what were you doing with the dog and the gun?” “Going down to the river to shoot the dog.”