Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1922 · page 53 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #32 — page 53: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* contains three unrelated jokes: **"John D.'s Art"** mocks billionaire John D. Rockefeller with a pun: no oil painting exists of him because he's never been painted "in oil"—a play on his Standard Oil fortune. **"Ay, There's the Rub"** is a philosophical poem about life's frustrations, using an extended metaphor about a dog with a can tied to its tail. The final couplet suggests paternal punishment ("Dad hands you in the end"). **The waiter anecdote** satirizes restaurant deception: when a customer complains his pudding portion is smaller than yesterday's, the waiter admits they deliberately serve larger helpings to window-seat diners as "advertisement" for passersby—cynical commentary on manipulative business practices. **"College Humor"** features a misunderstanding: when a man asks about "fast friends," the woman indignantly interprets it as questioning her morality rather than the speed of friendship.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
52 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang John D.'s Art "Have you an oil painting of John D. Rocke-feller?" "No, ma'am, no one has. He has never been done in oil." * * * Ay, There's the Rub It isn't the can that annoys the dog, It's the fact that it's tied to his tail. It isn't the troubles that make life hard, It's the number of them that you fail. It isn't the time you waste on her, Nor the thriftless gold you spend, But the cold and unrelenting kick Dad hands you in the end. * * * "Waiter," growled a customer, "I should like to know the meaning of this! Yesterday I was served with a portion of pudding twice the size of this." "Indeed, sir!" replied the waiter. "Where did you sit?" "By the window," answered the customer. "Oh, that explains it!" said the waiter. "We always give the people at the window a large helping. It's a good advertisement!" * * * College Humor He (trying to make conversation)—"Have you many fast friends?" She (Indignantly)—"Sir! I'm not that kind of a girl."