Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1922 · page 24 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #32 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is an advice column from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang*, a popular early-20th-century humor magazine. The page contains mock advice responses to reader questions, using absurdist humor and wordplay typical of the era. The jokes mock various social conventions: a "dance" costs money and causes fights; a "goblet" is a pun (small sailor); feeding a worm-infested child fish is darkly absurd advice; naming a son "Percy" dooms his singing ambitions (Percy was considered an effeminate name); a man pushing someone into mud while fleeing is presented as romantic proof of love; and blank cartridges solve the hunter's moral dilemma. The humor relies on non-sequiturs, sexual innuendo, and exaggeration rather than topical satire. These columns likely appealed to working-class readers seeking irreverent entertainment during Prohibition and post-WWI America.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
22 Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang Dear Capt. Billy—What is the difference between a dawnnce and a dance?—Iowa Bill. The difference between a dawnnce and a dance is one dollar and fifty cents and three fights. * * * Dear Capt. Billy—What is a goblet?—Frank Furter. A small sailor. * * * Dear Capt. Bill—My little boy has worms; what would you suggest?—Alvie. Feed him fish, fish like worms. * * * Dear Capt. Billy—Percy, my sixteen-year-old son, says his greatest ambition is to sing tenor in a glee club. What shall I do?—Worried Mama. The case is hopeless. You never should have named him Percy. * * * Dear Doctor Bill—One night at a party I met a fellow and he had to escort me home. When we got to a dark place he pushed me into a mud puddle and ran. Do you think he loves me?—Sis Hopkins. There can be no question of it. * * * Dear Captain Whiz Bang—I very much enjoy hunting, but also believe in the protection of wild animal life. What shall I do?—Daniel Boone of Kokomo. Always use blank cartridges.