Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, April 1922 · page 13 of 67
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #32 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* (a 1920s humor magazine) contains three brief comic items: **"The Boys in the Back Room"** mocks Prohibition-era speakeasy culture through a dialogue with exaggerated German-Jewish dialect. The joke turns on customers trying to order diluted alcohol ("half and half") while the bartender suggests a cigar instead—alluding to the legal loopholes and coded language used to discuss illegal liquor sales. **"Maud kicked the bucket"** is a dark pun: the phrase means she died, but Gus is actually lamenting spilled milk—a deadpan anticlimax. **"Sob Stuff"** presents a reader's complaint letter to the advice column. A visiting easterner fell for a western girl, only to discover she was unfaithful and mocked his romantic devotion to others. The ironic twist: his real worry is his *wife* finding out. This satirizes both melodramatic lovesickness and male hypocrisy—he's upset about betrayal while apparently being married himself.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang 11 The Boys in the Back Room “Vat will you haf?” “Vat haf you got?” “Ve haf some nice ha’f and ha’f.” “You haf? Ha’f vat and ha’f vat?” “Ha’f ha’f of vun per cent dark and ha’f ha’f of vun per cent light.” “Vell, I think I’ll haf to haf a seegar.” * * * “Maud kicked the bucket,” said Gus, as he sadly sur-veyed the spilt milk. * * * Sob Stuff Dear Capt. Billy Fairfax—I’m on a visit from the East. Fell in love with a Western girl. For the past six months I have been faithful to her, I thought my love was returned and never looked at anyone else. Took her around the country some and to different places of amuse-ment. Finally on a beautiful moonlight night I took her in my arms. Oh, my, I can see her now—her beautiful face, Oh, those eyes, those nose, those mouth, those beautiful hair. I kissed her and she closed her beautiful eyes. She was happy I thought. Things went on fine but as I had not been in the town long I didn’t know much of what had been going on. Then to my sorrow I found there was someone else, a guy with a super-six and a tin ear. I was broken-hearted, she had lied, used me for a fool. Then this shy, modest thing I had trusted crushed me by telling others she had never cared for me and also laugh-ingly told them of my lovesick talk. What do you think of that for honor and decency? She continues to talk and my life is a miserable affair. Please advise me what to do, because if my wife ever hears what this girl has to say she’ll “raise ‘ell.”—Pete Olson.