Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1922 · page 25 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #31 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* (a popular early-20th-century American humor magazine) presents a question-and-answer advice column featuring absurdist jokes. The humor relies on deliberate non-sequiturs and deadpan responses: **The jokes include:** - A man sneaking into bed backwards to deceive his wife about arriving late - Crediting William Tell with inventing apple sauce (a pun: shooting an apple creates "sauce") - Answering whether women matter everything with cynical agreement - Advice to use both hands when hammering (missing the actual safety question) - Defining absentmindedness as forgetting one's own marriage - A dangerously absurd toothache remedy (filling mouth with water then sitting on a hot stove) The satire targets everyday marital tensions, male behavior, and the gap between literal and practical answers. The humor is deliberately stupid and dangerous—typical of *Whiz Bang*'s irreverent, working-class sensibility popular in the 1920s-30s.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 23 gets home late, sneaks into bed backwards so that if his wife awakes he can tell her he is just getting up. * * * Dear Capt. Billy—Will you please tell me who invented apple sauce?—Anna Nyas. William Tell. He shot the apple off his son's head and they all had apple sauce for supper. * * * Dear Captain Bill—Don't you think a woman is everything in the world?—Tiddle- dewinks. Yes, indeed—everything I can think of. * * * Dear Capt. Billy—What is the easiest way to drive a nail without smashing my fingers? —Ab Doman. Hold the hammer in both hands. * * * Dear Whiz Bang Bill—What is your idea of the height of absentmindedness?—Lou Z. Lizzie. The professor who woke up at daylight and found a fair lady beside him, much to his astonishment, having forgotten that he had married the night before. * * * Dear Capt. Billy—Can you give me a good remedy for toothache?—Holey G. Macknaw. Fill the mouth with cold water and sit on a hot stove till the water boils.