Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, March 1922 · page 17 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #31 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains philosophical musings and a humorous anecdote typical of 1920s satirical magazines. The opening passage reflects on youth's wasted potential—a romantic meditation on how young people squander "miracles" through ignorance, unaware of their own gifts. "What a Woman Wants" presents a paradoxical statement about female desire: women want to be desired and valued through constant, demanding attention—a commentary on romantic/marital dynamics. "The Goal of Human Achievement" argues that happiness matters more than conventional markers like beauty or intelligence, framing contentment as an earned creation rather than luck. The final joke, "Our Exchange," uses gendered mockery. When a butcher describes steak as "tender as a woman's heart," the customer sarcastically orders sausage instead—implying women's hearts are actually hard or unfeeling. This reflects the magazine's cynical, anti-sentimental humor about women and marriage, typical of the era's male-oriented satirical publications.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 15 the first accidental encounter with life may take from them a treasure they will only learn about in forty storm-tossed years? Those first gifts—those shy blossomings lovely in their unconsciousness—are surely but the squandering of something half alive, the foolish murder of a bud. Oh, youth is a wicked, cruel thing, eating miracles with its breakfast and not knowing they are not por- ridge. WHAT A WOMAN WANTS—"I don't want anything except to be wanted. I long for you to make ceaseless, impossible demands on me." THE GOAL OF HUMAN ACHIEVEMENT— "All my life I have been teased for asking not, 'Is she beautiful?' 'Is she clever?' but always 'Is she happy?' I think it is in many ways the most interesting thing about a per- son. * * * Happiness is a light, an atmos- phere, an illumination. It sets a personality. I always feel it is a creation that is difficult for some and easy for others, but essentially an achievement, never an accident." * * * Our Exchange Henpecked and haggard husband asked the butcher: "What kind of meat have you this morning?" "Some steak as tender as a woman's heart," said the butcher. "I'll take sausage," said the customer.