Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, February 1922 · page 24 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #30 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces with cynical takes on human nature and desire. **The Poodle Fable** is a morality tale about a man who wishes to become a rich woman's lap-dog but grows bored with pampering—he craves excitement ("the kick") that affection cannot provide. When he leaves to reverse the wish, he never returns, suggesting he's become lost or simply prefers his dog existence. The moral—"It's a poor wish that won't work two ways"—means desires often have unforeseen consequences or reveal our true nature. **The French Proverbs** section offers misogynistic and cynical observations: women are discardable to the Devil; virtue is dangerously fragile; women are unforgiving of indifference rather than infidelity; and fools cannot comprehend intelligent people. Both sections reflect *Whiz Bang*'s tone: irreverent, skeptical of human motives, and dismissive particularly of women's character. This represents 1920s men's magazine humor—crude, cynical, and designed to amuse readers through shared contempt for pretense and romantic idealism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
22 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Fable of a Poodle Once there was a guy who wished that he was a rich woman's lap-dog, when suddenly a Great Genii appeared before him and granted his wish, telling him that any time he wished to be changed back to a man, he should slip out of the rich lady's house and come to the home of the Genii, in a distant part of the city. Being only a dog, he soon grew tired of his pampered life, and since he was really a dog, the kisses and petting of his pretty mistress failed to produce the "kick" that he had antici- pated. So, he slipped out of the house, and found himself on a broad and spacious avenue, lined with trees, telegraph poles and iron fence posts. Now, that was many moons ago, but up to the present writing, the little doggie has not reached the Genii's house to be changed back to a man. MORAL: It's a poor wish that won't work two ways. * * * French Proverbs (Selected by Rev. G. L. Morrill.) Women give themselves to God when the Devil wants nothing more to do with them. Since Cupid is represented with a torch in his hand, why did they place virtue on a barrel of gunpowder? A woman forgives everything but the fact that you do not covet her. Fools never understand people of wit.