Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, January 1922 · page 41 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #29 — page 41: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a narrative poem that parodies Robert Service's famous Yukon ballads (particularly "The Shooting of Dan McGrew" and "The Cremation of Sam McGee"), which were wildly popular early 20th-century adventure tales. The poem tells of a farm boy from Iowa who abandons moral respectability for the lawless Yukon gold rush, becoming "Yukon Jake, the Killer"—a ruthless, hard-drinking criminal who terrorizes saloon patrons in Nome, Alaska. It references actual Service characters (Dan McGrew, Sam McGee, Lou) while mocking the romanticization of frontier violence and debauchery. The satire targets the era's fascination with sensationalized tales of the Klondike. The exaggerated descriptions ("tough as a steak," "hardboiled as a picnic egg") and crude humor mock both the original poetry's dramatic tone and readers' appetite for such colorful criminality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
39 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang (Ere he fell for the gold and the muck), And had learned to pray, with the hogs and the hay On a farm near Keokuk. But a Service tale of illicit kale— And whiskey and women wild— Drained the morals clean as a soup-tureen From this poor but honest child. He longed for the bite of a Yukon night And the Northern Light's weird flicker, Or a game of stud in the frozen mud, And the taste of raw red licker. He wanted to mush along in the slush, With a team of huskie hounds, And to fire his gat at a beaver hat And knock it out of bounds. So he left his home for the hell-town Nome, On Alaska's ice-ribbed shores, And he learned to curse and to drink, and worse— Till the rum dripped from his pores, When the boys on a spree were drinking it free In a Malamute saloon And Dan Megrew and his dangerous crew Shot craps with the piebald coon; When the Kid on his stool banged away like a fool At a jag-time melody And the barkeep vowed, to the hardboiled crowd, That he'd cree-mate Sam McGee— Then Jacob Kaime, who had taken the name Of Yukon Jake, the Killer, Would rake the dive with his forty-five Till the atmosphere grew chiller. With a sharp command he'd make 'em stand And deliver their hard-earned dust, Then drink the bar dry, of rum and rye, As a Klondike bully must. Without coming to blows he would tweak the nose Of Dangerous Dan Megrew, And becoming bolder, throw over his shoulder The lady that's known as Lou. Oh, tough as a steak was Yukon Jake— Hardboiled as a picnic egg. He washed his shirt in the Klondike dirt. And drank his rum by the keg. In fear of their lives (or because of their wives) He was shunned by the best of his pals An outcast he, from the camaraderie