Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, December 1921 · page 62 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #28 — page 62: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang* contains three separate humorous pieces: **"Bargain Day"** features a Scotsman stereotype known for frugality. The joke: a Scottish man finds an accident victim pleading for a doctor, but instead keeps asking if a railway claim agent has arrived—suggesting he wants to profit from the accident. His final line, lying down beside the injured man to "bargain," implies he's seeking to be compensated as a fellow victim, treating tragedy as a business opportunity. The satire targets Scottish miserliness, a common ethnic stereotype of the era. **"A Letter in Meter"** is a playful pun using homophones: "meter/meet her" and "letter/let her," essentially repeating the same advice ("be alone") in different word forms. **"Page the Weather Boy"** makes a crude innuendo: men display interest in women's hosiery on rainy days when such displays are visible, wanting the weather to "clear up" so they can continue viewing legs through transparent stockings. The final line about loaded dice serves as a standalone aphorism about risky behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
60 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang Bargain Day The late Cy Warman, who deserted railway literature for a real railway job in Montreal, told this story at a luncheon not long before his death: A Scotchman came upon an automobile over-turned at a railway crossing. Beside it lay a man all smashed up. “Get a doctor,” he moaned. “Did the train hit you?” asked the Scotch-man. “Yes, yes; get a doctor.” “Has the claim agent been here yet?” “No, no; please get a doctor.” “Move over, you,” said the Scot, “till I lie down beside you.” * * * A Letter in Meter There are meters of accent, There are meters of tone, But the best way to meet her Is to meter alone. There are letters of accent There are letters of tone, But the best way to letter Is to letter alone. * * * Page the Weather Boy! The fancy display in hosiery on a rainy day affects a man’s eyes to such an extent that he is always anxious to see it clear up. * * * Playing with loaded dice is shaky business at best.