Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, December 1921 · page 10 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #28 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous personal narrative—not a political cartoon—from *Captain Billy's Whiz Bang*, a satirical magazine. The author recounts visiting Admiral Shoemaker's Pacific fleet and touring the USS *Pennsylvania* battleship at San Pedro dock. The satire targets the author's own naiveté: he assumed a naval "barge" would be ugly (confusing it with his father's grain barges on the Red River), only to be surprised by an elegant launch. He's also humorously shocked that the famous "14-inch guns" are actually 40 feet long. The final reference to cursing "Josephus Daniels" likely alludes to the Secretary of the Navy (1913-1921), known for strict temperance policies that frustrated many. The mention of testing champagne from a cellar earlier suggests Daniels' prohibition-era policies were unpopular with the magazine's readers. The humor lies in self-deprecating rural ignorance meeting military grandeur.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
8 Captain Billy's Whiz Bang ter (on the q. t., folks, you'll have to admit it was pretty soft for a decrepit old Robbinsdale farmer) indulging in the ornery duties of test- ing the champagny contents of Robert's cellar. It was while the sparkling bubbles bubbled that the subject of a visit to Admiral Shoe- maker's Pacific fleet bobbed up. Next day we received a personal invitation from the Ad- miral, who insisted that we board his barge at the San Pedro dock. On the Red River of the North my Dad hauled wheat for the Northern Pacific railroad in a barge and not having been on speaking terms with naval language I assumed that a barge was a heluvan ugly look- ing thing. Imagine my surprise, please, when the bare- foot jackies heaved ho with an immaculate launch with three golden stars. Pretty soft for a hardened old rascal, I claim. We rolled on to the Flagship "Pennsylvania" and were greeted by the Admiral's aide, Lieut. L. S. Lewis. It was my first view of a battleship and at once I was impressed with the fact that the "Pennsylvania" probably could have licked any of the numerous boats that father once owned on the Red River. I was surprised to learn that the 14-inch guns I had read about were really about 40 feet long instead of 14 inches. Anyway, we had a delightful time aboard the "Pennsylvania" and it was the first time in my life I ever cussed Josephus Daniels (say it