Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, October 1921 · page 43 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #25 — page 43: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents satirical poetry mocking gambling, particularly dice games. The main piece traces dice from ancient times through modern "Gambledom," where they're renamed "Bounding Domino" and used in high-stakes gambling near the Pamlico racetrack. The satire targets gamblers' behavior—their fights over money, foul language, and desperation when "hard-luck" strikes. The dice themselves "speak," boasting that even though cities have risen where wars occurred, gambling persists, with suckers perpetually losing their money. The "Moral" section provides absurdist logic: just because someone studies lunar systems doesn't make them insane; just because someone gambles doesn't define them—except the final punchline undermines this by recommending poker instead of dice. The romantic poem below appears unrelated, possibly filler content typical of 1920s humor magazines. Overall, this criticizes compulsive gambling culture while maintaining the satirical, somewhat cynical tone characteristic of *Whiz Bang*.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ceptain Billy's Whiz Bang 41 And followed the chain of change; 'Till there came a time in Gambledom 'Midst many a weal and woe— They changed the name of this plucky game To "Bounding Domino." Long were the "rolls" on the table-top. When the game would once begin; Longer the howls of the "folks-of-chance" When "hard-luck" came trooping in. O'er gold, and silver, and paper notes, They'd fight, and claw, and tear; And cheek by jowl—with words quite foul They'd soil the clothes they'd wear. We were discovered so long ago In a time that no man knows; Yet here tonight, in the mellow light, Near the race-track at Pamlico, Our eyes are dotted with half-carat stones That shine like the Devon Springs; And cute Flappers display us in public Quite as proudly as diamond rings. It makes no difference if we are rolled For a dollar, five, or ten. Our love is cold, our game is old, And the "sucker" our kith and kin. Tho cities have sprung above the graves Where the crook-boned-men made war, Let us drink anew to the time when you Found the hardest point was "Four." Moral: REMEMBER, He who operates a barber-shop is not barbaric; He that studies the lunar system is not a lunatic; He who exists on a stew is not always a student: He who thinks that One Broadway makes New York has "muchly" to learn; And— He that caresseth the Uneasy Ivories is hastily disconnected from his dough. Never! Remember That! TOTAL MORAL: Play Poker Instead! * * * Is it you I love dear? I can scarcely tell. When you smile your eyes, dear, Make me think of Nell. When you are sad, your mouth, dear, Makes me think of Sue, But, dear, when I kiss you, I am sure it's you.