Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, October 1921 · page 41 of 68
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang #25 — page 41: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two pieces of satirical verse from an early 20th-century American humor magazine. **"Captain Billy's Whiz Bang"** (main text): A first-person boxing narrative where the narrator describes training rigorously, fighting a rival nicknamed "The Kid" (whom he knew from school), and accidentally killing him with a knockout punch in the eighth round. The narrator is imprisoned for ten years as a result. The satire likely mocks exaggerated sporting tales and the brutal consequences of prize-fighting culture. **"Not Me"** (poem): A brief, ironic piece about masculine hypocrisy. It contrasts how men ogle attractive women in public ("pretty Fairy") versus how they pretend to be virtuous "model men" when accompanying a serious girlfriend. The repeated refrain "Even as you and I" implies the reader recognizes this two-faced behavior. Both pieces reflect *Whiz Bang*'s characteristic blend of crude humor, working-class perspectives, and social commentary on American masculinity and behavior.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Captain Billy's Whiz Bang 39 I knew he was good so I trained down fine, and stuck to my train- ing camp. For I never drank nor smoked then, boys, I prided my health and strength, Could box like Gibbons and hit like Jack, had a good left jab for its length. The fight with the “chocolate drop” was at the Chickatawbut club; Although I was white I was in the dark for they took me for a dub. We entered the ring and a whoop went up, we both shared the applause, They liked us both and “The Kid” was a price and we knew each other’s flaws. For we went to school together, “The Sunflower Kid” and me, And we knew each other’s tactics like the saying A to Z. The bell rang; we came to the front and neither of us smiled, We were feinting and “feeling each other out,” and one of my swings went wild; No damage was done in the opening round, except for a few left hooks, I was sure I had his number then and proceeded to mar his looks. The eighth opened up, I was still very fresh, getting stronger all the while, I ducked “The Kid’s” right swing to the jaw and met him with a smile, Yes, a smile and also a right hand smash to the softest part of the jaw, And “The Kid” went down from the force of the blow and laid out on the straw. The referee counted ten and then the “Kid” didn’t move a bit, I knelt beside him, got hold of his head, I knew he was hard hit. A doctor jumped in and felt his pulse, put water on his head, A minute later he tested his heart and announced the “Kid” was dead. From that time on, I’m sorry to say, my life began to fail In health and strength and happiness for I served ten **years in jail**. And now I am fighting Barleycorn and my hair is turning gray, And I’ll beget this tough old gamester until my judgment day. * * * Not Me When a pretty Fairy gets on a car, And her dress comes kinder high, The goodly man will steal a glance, Even as you and I. But when he’s with a real nice **girl**, To look, he will not try, He is a regular “model man” Even as you and **I